We Answer the Important Questions About the Verizon iPhone

Categories: Tech
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After years (possibly decades) of speculation, the iPhone 4 is finally coming to Verizon. Current iPhone owners must certainly be intrigued, because using an iPhone in San Francisco on AT&T's network is about as enjoyable as a fine winter flu. If you can even manage to get a signal -- and good luck with that -- calls still aren't super clear and the Internet isn't thaaaat fast. Now that the iPhone will be on Verizon, many speculate that reception and data speeds will be much improved -- but we'll have to wait and see when the phone drops early next month (Feb 10).

Aside from the expectation that the Verizon iPhone will actually work as a phone, this slightly redesigned iPhone 4 will also function as a mobile hotspot, meaning you can use it to connect your laptop to the Internet on the go. There are also some rumors, myths and legends about this Verizon iPhone circulating. So we're here to hash out and debunk a few of those.

Am I allowed to touch my Verizon iPhone or stand within five feet of it while making a call?
Well from the looks of it, Apple has completely redesigned the iPhone 4 antenna for the Verizon iteration, and it's running on a network that isn't AT&T, so more than likely, you'll actually be able to hold your phone while talking on it.

Does the Verizon iPhone really run on a 6G network?
No. Verizon was joking when they mentioned that. Their current next-gen network is 4G LTE. But the Verizon iPhone doesn't run on that either. You're stuck with Verizon's 3G network for now.

Will the Verizon iPhone improve my ability to text while driving?
No. It won't. And shame on you for doing something so unsafe and irresponsible.

Will the Verizon iPhone cure Cancer?
No. If anything, it's more probable that it would give you cancer (though that's also highly unlikely).

Will the Verizon iPhone get me laid?
Only if your social circle is comprised entirely of tech geeks.

Will the Verizon iPhone save my marriage?
Depends on how you use the Facetime video conferencing.

If my marriage fails, can I just marry the Verizon iPhone?
You need to consult California state laws on that one.

I've seen lots of videos on YouTube of cats using iPhones. Should I buy a Verizon iPhone for my cat?
No. Absolutely not. Subjecting an innocent Verizon iPhone to the abuses of cat claws is cruel and unusual.

Will my Facebook and Yahoo still work on this thing?
Yes, Mom, the Facebook App is unaffected by the Verizon iPhone.

Should I buy the Verizon iPhone?
Only if you really need it. Chances are, Verizon will get the new new iPhone when it comes out in June/July. Get that one if you can wait.

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Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Adrian Covert @adilla, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.

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