Saturday Night: Mayer Hawthorne, White Mike, Riche Panic, and Others Soundtrack A Santa-Filled Night in the Mission

Better than: Being forced to sit in Santa's lap at your mandatory company holiday party.

Jingle bells, confusion, and offensive party smells! Such was the theme of the night this past Saturday in the Mission. Inebriated Santas ran rampant through all parts of town, tiaras adorned many drunken females, and sweat poured out of every club between Valencia and South Van Ness. With a white leather-bound journal our only weapon against the madness, we managed to survive and capture some of this first December weekend.

First stop, Public Works. Had we arrived for Hard French, Smalltown DJs, or just a half-naked Santa party? With a line wrapping around the corner, we wondered which of these attractions was the draw. Many tried to saunter up to the bouncer with inquiries about the guestlist, but it was obvious from the hostess' 10 sheets of hastily scribbled names that someone needed a lesson in the art of computer use.


The next merry destination was SOM Bar, where Mayer Hawthorne was to perform a DJ set. A mixture of Asian hipsters and Sweater Funk devotees intermingled in the line, which reached around South Van Ness. We held our breath as we walked into this hip-hop sauna, with the bouncer warning, "It's damn hot in there. If you are claustrophobic, you shall not enter!"

DJ Shortkut was on the decks, playing hip-hop gems from Q-tip to Wu-Tang. Shoving our way to the front, it became apparent that almost every girl was attempting to salvage her sweaty face in anticipation of Mayer Hawthorne. Looking like a soulful, sexy, religious figure, he finaly took the stage in a bright red sweater. Hawthorne began by playing a medley of Stevie Wonder songs, and continued making love to the crowd with Parliament hits like "Give Up the Funk." Occasionally taking the mic and professing his adoration for San Francisco, everyone from the bartender to the hopeful groupie seemed rapt by his presence.