This past weekend, with the release of The Social Network movie, Justin Timberlake proved to the world, yet again, that he is just as good at acting as he is at making really high-pitched noises, moving his body in a rhythmic manner and cultivating enough curly hair to restock Cher's wig closet. If only there were more musically-inclined stars who could make the transition to the big screen as painless as this... Hell, most of them can't even handle the small screen. With that in mind, here are the top six most self-conscious acting performances by musicians in a TV show.
6. Alanis Morissette on Sex and the City
Hi, I'm Alanis Morrissette. When you first saw me, I was all bitter and stabby and angry at men. Then I decided to grow my hair long, cultivate an image of peace-loving hippiedom, and stop wearing shiny shirts (remember that video where I didn't wear anything? That was so awesome!). Here's me celebrating a really juvenile, PG-13 version of free love, with Carrie Bradshaw. This isn't nearly as excruciating to watch as that time I was God in Dogma, but my ippy-dippy-smiley face is still obnoxious. I'm such a kook, you guys!
5 . Nick Lachey on One Tree Hill
For much of Nick Lachey's appearance on One Tree Hill, he played a caricature of himself, all furrowed brow and smirky, self-assured face. We wanted to show you the clip of his scene in the studio where he pats himself on the back for recognizing an Aerosmith reference, but The Soup summed up this whole travesty better than we ever could, so let's have a look at that instead.
4. Kim Gordon & Thurston Moore on Gilmore Girls
This hurts a lot because, in our heads, these two live on an avant-garde pedestal made of art, stored in a dirty but fabulous warehouse in New York, where they just stare at their feet and mumble to themselves and make feedback sound pretty all day long. Kim Gordon is also guilty of an awful appearance on Gossip Girl, but what we're about to show you is so gut-wrenchingly embarrassing, it defies description. We're not sure if Goo will ever sound the same after this.
3. Davy Jones and His Hair on My Two Dads
We realize that The Monkees weren't exactly the most credible band in the world, but when lil Davy Jones popped up years later on '80's sitcom My Two Dads, witnessing his uber-mulleted, blue-leisure-suited, wedding singing was so scarring, it means we actually remember a show that should've been wiped from our memories at least a decade ago. The only evidence we could find of this shocking, breathtakingly cringe-worthy incident has subtitles, which begs the question: who would go to the trouble of subtitling this?
2. Pete Wentz on One Tree Hill
Pete Wentz is so awkward on camera, the makers of One Tree Hill had to prop him against things, have him kiss several cast members, and repeatedly stick him behind a stove when he appeared throughout this episode. Why don't his shoulders move? It's weird. But not nearly as weird as the goddamn script was -- it not only made multiple self-conscious references to "Pete from Fall Out Boy," and him being "this rock star" (clearly for viewers not entirely sure who the hell he is), but also included gems like "He's just leaving on a rock concert tour." Who talks like that? (We couldn't find an embeddable video, but you can still witness Wentz in all his non-glory.)
There's Pete Wentz, behind the stove.
1. Geri Halliwell in Sex And The City
And the award for literally the worst acting ever aired on television goes to Ginger Spice, Geri Halliwell, who struggles so hard with her lines here, she barely gets them out at all. You suspect that the producers had her strip down to next to nothing in the hope that, if her boobs were out, no one would notice what her mouth was doing. But there simply are not enough bikini tops in the world to distract from this monstrosity: