She Won't Stop Blogging About Me
The girl I'm dating keeps blogging about me. We've been dating for about a month now, I guess. I am flattered, but I don't want all her blog readers up in our biznasty, if you know what I mean, even though she doesn't have a huge following or anything. Can I tell her to stop? She doesn't use my real name or anything, but still, it makes me a bit miffly.
I am far too drunk to be interpreting your erotizzle poizzle, young man. Thursday is when they restock the mini-bars at the SF Weekly offices. Nevermind that I don't work there. Miffly who? Biznasty what? And did you just vomit on my internet, sir?
I believe I've heard of these people who don't like to be written about on the Internet, but this concept is perplexing to me, like unicorns or Spanx, and makes me ask, slowly but purposefully, "What are you, a three-toed sloth or something?" Because I am really bad at analogies.
Is it too much to expect that the intimate details of our love lives remain out of the blogosphere? I would hope not. But then, I have about six blogs, half of them personal, the other half devoted to taking down Tyra Banks, so who am I to judge? You have every right to feel a bit miffly about it, of course, but your "feelings" are not a guarantee that she'll stop writing about you. You can, however, tell her it makes you uncomfortable and ask her to back off. If she likes you enough, she probably will. We bloggers aren't all as cold and unfeeling as Nicole Kidman's face, after all.
As a fellow blogger friend, who has a lot of experience writing about people on the Internet who don't want to be written about, put it, "Honestly, it depends on what's being written. If it's lies, defamatory or threatening, it's really easy to pull together a professional looking cease and desist. If you just don't like it, but they're not running your name in the mud, you need to get over it and ignore it."
You didn't deign to tell me what exactly she is saying about you on the Internet, but let me ask you this: Is she writing nice things about you? That would make a difference to me, though I also tend to base my self-worth on how many sex toy manufacturers are following me on Twitter (Come back, @MySexRocket!), so perhaps you have a healthier approach to life. In which case, we're all really happy for you. Maybe you should start a blog about that.