When To Stop Texting and Use Your Phone as a Phone
How do you judge when a conversation is more appropriate for texting or a phone call? For example, "Do you think red or pink go-go boots would go better with my plaid lederhosen?" is clearly a text question while "Can you explain Nietzsche's view on nihilism and how it pertains to vegan Indian cuisine?" is more of phone call.
Texting has increasingly replaced phone conversations, especially now that so many people are attached to their fancy smart phones where you can check email, navigate your car and artificially inseminate yourself in a moment's notice. Here's The Washington Post on our texting habits:
There are some obvious reasons why kids these days don't like talking on the phone. It's demands your immediate attention. It puts you on the spot. With texting, you can put some thought into your response. It can be awkward, or, if you're anything like me, you mishear people A LOT. "I have lipodystrophy." "Your hippo won a trophy?"
But there are still plenty of situations where using your smart phone as a PHONE is the better option. So, here, I made you a chart.
|When to call||When to text|
|To make plans||To solidify details of plans|
|Drunk dialing should only be done when you KNOW the person won't pick up, i.e. they are sound asleep, or in a convent. You should also be prepared to have to listen to your drunk message over and |
over again the next day.
|To succinctly express your drunken revelations on porn, Stovetop stuffing, why you always date girls with tramp stamps, the Slap Chop remix, and cop dramas.|
|Most people over the age of 50||Most people between the ages of 11 and 49|
|When a question can only be answered sufficiently in paragraph form: "What's the current state of the economy?" and "How do you really feel about Johnny Depp?"||When a question can be answered in one or two words: "Wanna shoot up later?"|
|To fight||To flirt|
|If the issue is pressing: My weave is on fire! Yet I can somehow make phone calls still!||If you don't need an immediate response: Does this weave make my head look fat?|
|If you are completely lost||If you need an address/phone number|
|Major life events of people you greatly care about: Births, deaths, terminal illnesses, bedding Johnny Depp||Major events of people you don't really care about, minor events or mass holidays.|
|To break up with someone you've been on 2-5 dates with||To break up with someone you've been on 1-2 dates with|
|If you are severely late||If you are running a few minutes late|
|To confront or accuse someone of something important: "Bill. That tribal tattoo. It was a mistake."||To confront or accuse someone of something not important at all: "Did you eat the last of my Yoplait in 2005?"|
|Long-distance relationship lovin'|
To coordinate a heist
To coordinate a trip to Jamba Juice