Top Five Songs for Vampire Hipsters

vampirehipster shirt.jpg
photo via Flickr/spacedustdesign
Justin Bieber is no vampire. Tina Fey had it right when she said he's like a dreamy Christmas elf. But Rolling Stone disagrees. The magazine's website is running a photo gallery on its home page of several pop star portraits that have been mutated to include razor-sharp teeth and bloody bite marks -- and for no good reason other than to coincide with the release of the latest Twilight film. And perhaps to subtly point out that fangs suit Lady Gaga.

We regret that Rolling Stone overlooked brooding alternative artists in favor of squeaky-clean pop stars who are about as fierce as Stephenie Meyer's literary prowess.To remedy this, we've taken a stab at five songs that will agree with vampires and vampire-loving hipsters. With heavy hearts, we abstained from listing Vampire Weekend and the Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun [Oh, Shit!]."

1. The Middle East - "Blood"

It was the only woman you ever loved
That got burnt by the sun too often when she was young
And the cancer spread and it ran into her body and blood
And there's nothing you can do about it now

Double whammy. Overexposure to the sun and blood. Mmmm. The Middle East performed at Slim's earlier this month.

 


2. Sam Roberts - "No Sleep"

No sleep
I haven't slept for a week
And I'm cold
Yeah, I'm so cold


Vampires are hopeless night owls. Take Sam Roberts, who bemoans his sleeping habits in English and French. Here he performs at San Francisco's Cafe Du Nord:




3. The Pharcyde- "4 Better or 4 Worse"

I'll take a hammer and start to drill your skull
And then I'll really start picking your brain cells
I will be licking, mmm mmm mmm!
You taste so intelligent

Can't imagine Twilight's precious Edward Cullen spewing these nauseating lyrics, but we can't speak for all vampires. Just some.



4. LA Vampires and Zola Jesus - "Bone is Bloodstone"

No lyrics

LA Vampires collaborated with goth-pop artist Zola Jesus on a new EP from the label Not Not Fun. Does the double negative imply that it is fun? If so, this song is not not not fun. That's okay, though. We don't imagine being a vampire is either.

Listen to the song here.

5. Imogen Heap - "Thriller"

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood

Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video was the perfect breeding ground for creatures of the night, but Heap's cover will better whet the indie vampire's deadly appetite.



Follow us @SFAllShookDown and the writer @taylorfriedman

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