SF Singer Myles Cooper Has the Weirdest Taste in Boyfriends Ever

Categories: Video

Myles Cooper is a San Francisco-based  musician with a Youtube username that sums up our feelings about his  video, "Gonna Find Boyfriends Today": Imsoooconfused. After multiple viewings of the video, and constant reassurances that we're completely sober, it still is a mind-boggling piece of work. And though we want to pull out every journalistic trick in the book and cleverly describe the minute details of this foray into the weird, the only thing that surfaces is a resounding WTF.

If we were going to try to assign words to the insanity,  "Gonna Find Boyfriends Today" could be described as an, ahem, enlightening  video for singles who have been looking in all the wrong places. Because, apparently, in the inner reaches of Myles' mind, boyfriends are ripe for the picking.

"I need you to look around and find  yourself a cutie," Myles' decapitated heads prods us from inside a moon.

He sings: "It doesn't matter what you wear/It doesn't matter if you've got money/We'll find guys to buy us drinks/And tell us that we're young and funny."

And with that, our sagacious dating guru is off to leave  his mark on multiple boys. On first  impact, he seems greedy. But this  feeling of indignation quickly melts away when you  consider that  infidelity is probably the least of Myles' problems. That's because  Myles' ideal boyfriends are -- evidently -- puppets who caress his  chest, Cat in the Hat peanuts, dancing strawberries, Precious Moments choirboys  and a woman who looks like Mo'Nique.

You just know that, despite this freak show, Myles has no problem getting guys. Can't attest to the character or quality of said boyfriends. But Myles is quirky and -- let's just come out with it -- kind of a giant weirdo. And love is totally unfair like that.

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