A Tablet By Any Other Name: Anything is Better than iPad

Like many other people who failed junior high gym but got straight As in everything else, we were lucky enough to touch the future of the Internet earlier today at the Apple Event at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. And much like junior high, we too heard the snickers when it turned out that the coveted object's name was not the majestic "Apple Tablet" but the more mundane and connotative "iPad."

iJustine doesn't care what the damn thing is called.

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Addressing this precise issue, Steve Jobs told the WSJ's Kara Swisher, "You forget, but they made fun of the iPod name when it came out," he said. "What matters is the product and what it means to consumers." Yes, because of Steve-o's vision, there was the American Revolution, the French Revolution, and now the iPad Revolution.

The New York Time's David Carr is going to get it embedded in his chest.

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(Of course, MadTV predicted this revolution back in 2007.)

Well in case Jobs changes his mind, here's our list of 13 friendly alternative suggestions (and haters, don't hate, participate... yes that means you anonymous person who will say "this isn't funny").

1. iKindle 

2. iAmLikeALaptopButWithoutTheLid

3. iPaperweight

4. iBigiPhone

5. iHopeYouWashedYourHands  

6. iJustKilledNetbooks

7. iAmSlimLikeSteve 

8. iAmAlmostTenInchesButOnlyLastTenMinutes 

9. iAmOnATwoMonthWaitingListToBuyMyself 

10. iRememberTheGoodOl'Days  

11. iKnowWhatMyDorkyCousinIsGettingForChristmas 

12. iThoughtThereWasAFootballGameThisWeekend? 


And at lucky number thirteen:

13. iWouldNotThrowOutMyTVXboxNYTimesorComputerYetEither


Check out more pics in our "Apple Event at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts" slideshow.