13 Reasons Why Yoga-Hop Is Gonna Be Huge

Doze Green

"Kali Dwapar"

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In JG's words:

"Now that MC Chris has agreed to appear at Insane Clown Posse's Gathering of the Juggalos meathead festival this summer, I guess nerdcore hip-hop is officially dead. That opens the door for Kirtan-core ... rapping about yoga!"

Funny thing is, I went to Point Reyes rapper MC Yogi's webpage, and the whole yoga-hop thing wasn't as ridiculous as JG--who said breakdancing Ganeshes should be banned from competitive B-boying because their multiple arms give them an advantage--makes it seem.

No, really. (Jump the break for the list.)

Here's Why:

• Yoga-practicing emcees have superior breath-control skills.

• You've heard of call-and-response? How about chant-and-response?

• There's already a local label called Om Hip-Hop (word!).

• MC Downward Dog is a lot less corny than Young Jeezy or Lil Wayne, namewise.

• Lord Ganesh, the elephant-faced Hindu god of knowledge and remover of obstacles, has already
been depicted in a b-boy stance, rocking shelltoes even, by none other
than Rock Steady Crew/TC5 b-boy/graf legend Doze Green, on the cover
of Tabla Beat Science's Tala Matrix.

• Hip-hop scribe Adisa Banjoko is a regular contributor to Yoga Journal.

• Buddha Monk is already a member of Wu-Tang's (extended) Clan

• The Invisible Skratch Piklz' manager is named Yogafrog.

• Built-in crossover audience: not just Marina/Pac Heights Bikram
Yoga practicioners, but Sufis, whirling dervishes, Shaolin monks, Burners and
Deadheads.

• Yoga-hop devotees must withdraw from the temptations of the material world = far fewer strip club arrests.

• Taiko drums have much more bass than 808s; a gong beats a funky cowbell every time

• 40 oz. of Steel Reserve = Worse for you than 40 oz. of soy milk.

• Saying "Yo, Namaste" is not as played as saying "Peace Out!"