The Clickable Clit: "I Like You, But I Like You Better Online"
By Bonnie Ruberg
The Clickable Clit continues this week with more adventures from the personal diary of an SF-based cybersex expert.
My overeager fan fell asleep on the sofa
Saturday, October 25th
Remember how I told you a fan made me feel like a cybersex tease? Well, after many emails from him, we set up a time to chat. Since he doesn’t cyber during the day — crazy normal humans with their normal human jobs — I agreed to make it a work evening and meet him around 9:00 on instant messenger. When he hadn’t shown up by 9:30, however, I sent him a note and called it quits. Here’s what I got in response the next morning:
It’s all my fault. I fucked up.
I worked late and came home and made something to eat, then laid down on my couch for a couple moments and yup, fell asleep. I didn’t wake up until 1:15 my time and went to bed.
I am so sorry. I fucked up my chance; I tried to give it a go now because I was very excited at the thought of a fun cyber with you, but I blew it in the end. I don’t think I will be able to try and schedule something in the next couple weeks that late for me, unless we tried something on the weekend. However I know I also may not get another chance.
While I appreciate the sincerity of his apology, I can’t say I’m turned on by the whole “on his knees, begging for forgiveness thing.” As a sub, I like my partners to be confident and reliable, not week-kneed and late. Still, I wrote him back to say it was no big deal and I’d be happy to meet him another time. No word in response yet. Maybe he’s too ashamed to show his cyber face.
I like you, but I like you better online
Monday, October 27th
Has it ever happened to you that you have more chemistry with a lover online than you do in real life? There’s a passage in Julian Dibbell’s My Tiny Life about that, and it’s always stuck with me, this idea that you can chat with someone online and have a great connection — but there’s something about your real world personalities that just don’t mesh.
I’ve been thinking about this a bunch as I chat with an ex-lover who moved back to the East Coast a few months ago. When he was here in San Fran — that is, when I was actually sleeping with him — I did like him, romantically even, but he had a certain arrogance and immaturity that turned me off whenever I got too close. Not that he’s a couple thousand miles away, we’re back to communicating the way we did when we first met on an online dating site: through text chat. While we’re chatting, I remember all the things I enjoy about him: he’s easygoing, funny, and smart, plus we have a million things in common. I get to wishing he’d move back to the Bay Area. Then I remember the issues I have with him in meat space…
This problem has cropped up in my life before. So what do you do when you like someone, but specifically you like who they are online? You can meet that person in real life, but what if they’re not the same? And for that matter, what is meeting me like for the people who know me online?
Transcript excerpt: open office hours with Dr. S.
Tuesday, October 28th
Here’s the beginning of a transcript from my latest date with Dr. S. It seems Friday mornings at 10:00 have become our regular office hours. Strange, it’s almost like we’re developing an intimate comfort with each other as we each come back for more. Read the full transcript here.
me: (sorry, just looked at the clock and went, “crap, it’s 10:13!”)
Dr. S.: (haha, no worries)
me: so, I believe you wanted to see me again this morning?
Dr. S.: (if you have work to do, we can reschedule)
yes, i did. if you would, please close the door.
me: (for me this is work ), a valid appointment like any other
certainly. do you mind if I sit down?
Dr. S.: i do. remain standing where you are, facing the door.
(what are we wearing this morning, anyway?)
me: (hmm, the realistic, i.e. honest answer is black jeans and a lowcut t-shirt, but i’m willing to be more creative)
Dr. S.: (realistic is sexy, too. how lowcut? ;) )
(i’m wearing jeans myself and a striped, collared shirt. casual friday, after all)
me: (how low cut? you can just about see the top of my bra. casual friday it is. )
Dr. S.: (very nice. you can just about see the bulge in my jeans even now.)
*taking a moment to look you over, the full length of you, admiring the fit of your jeans
me: *watching you, smirking slightly, slowly turning to face the closed door as you commanded
Dr. S.: *rising from my chair to stand behind you, my hands moving up your legs to rest upon your hips, leaning in closer to kiss at your neck
me: *melting into your kiss, my head falling slightly to the side
Dr. S.: *licking my tongue up along your throat, kissing at your jawline as i slide my arms around your waist, pressing myself firmly against your ass, letting you feel my already urgent need
me: *smiling, arching my back to press back against you
ah, so it’s this kind of meeting...
To reach The Clickable Clit, write to bonnie [at] heroine-sheik [dot] com—or follow her exploits in detail throughout the week at her cybersex blog, Cybersexy.
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