The Clickable Clit: Cybersex at 30,000 Feet

By Bonnie Ruberg

The Clickable Clit continues this week with more online adventures from an SF-based cybersex expert…

Cybersex at 30,000 Feet
Sunday, September 14th

American Airlines recently announced they'll be providing full access wireless internet on a number of their domestic flights. Apparently, for a number of flight attendants, that's cause for worry, not rejoicing. Why? Because they're afraid that, given WiFi, passengers with laptops will use it to look up "seedy" websites in an attempt to pass away the in-flight hours with mile-high smut. While those cart-pushers may be worried about porn and complimentary blankets cleverly covering crotches, I'm busy thinking of all the possibilities for cybersex at 30,000 feet.

Sure, getting it on online in an airplane wouldn't be that different from doing it at any other crowded, public place (remind me to tell you those stories later), but there's something so novel about describing something dirty you'd like to do to a stranger over text chat while you're soaring above the ground. Plus, all novelty aside, cybersex would be a great way to pass the time -- and it's so much more entertaining that in-flight movies. Should anyone acquire the balls to bring this dream of mine to fruition, here are some initial tips for the cybersex mile high club:

1) The people around you can see what's on your screen. Maybe that's a good thing, you naughty exhibitionist. If you prefer to keep your online sex life more secret, get a window seat and put up some blinders, like a folder you hold on one side of your laptop.

2) Please, don't touch yourself in your seat. Talking dirty is all well and good, and even kind of funny depending on whom you're sitting next to, but the idea of spending five hours beside a wanking perv (and I don't use that term lightly) isn't pretty. You wouldn't want it to happen to you, so don't make it happen to someone else.

3) Make your exit to the bathroom, should you need one, discrete. No massive bulges when you work your way down those tiny aisles.

4) Remember to tell whoever you're cybering with your in an actual airplane. Like, for real. 'Cause that's hot.

What can you say to something like that?
Monday, September 15th

I recently conducted an interview with a woman who is part of an online group called "I Live in a Sexless Marriage." The group, more than 30,000 strong, connects through a site called The Experience Project, and will be the subject of an upcoming column of mine at This particular woman I interviewed was obviously very keen on the internet as a communication tool (after all, it had helped her find other men and women who shared her story), but had a very different feeling about online technology when it came to sex. Here's how she explained the sexless marriage she's shared for years with her "addicted" husband:

"When we're out in public he's very loving, very touchy-feely. No one would ever believe it... What started it? The introduction of the internet. It used to be the only way men could see this is go to a party and see a stag film or have to hide somewhere and get Playboy in their home. But with what's so easy to get online, it ruins sex in a marriage. I read two stories this morning where women couldn't understand then they found their husbands jerking off to porn. They've gone a couple of years and found out this is what he's doing... At one point he was spending 10, 12 hours a day on the internet. He would lock himself in a room. He says he doesn't have a problem. Like any kind of an addiction blame goes to the other person. You do this, you don't do that, I need an outlet. I went to counseling because I thought there was something wrong with me. I love my husband, and I wouldn't leave him if he had cancer, because it's a sickness..."

Of course, what she's talking about is an internet porn addiction, though it takes her a long time to admit it. This is the type of person -- someone who speaks from an earnest place of hurt and personal experience -- I don't know what to say to when it comes to sticking up for online sex. I could always point out that addiction is something that happens because of the individual, not porn or cybersex itself. It's the same way with alcohol: beer companies don't make alcoholics. Still, that doesn't seem like a very nuanced argument in the face of someone whose life feels shattered by porn every day.

Later in the interview, this same woman (who is also a mother) bemoaned the fact that, in our day and age, we have to start explaining about porn to kids as young as six and seven. After all, as long as they can work a web browser they can stumble across sex. "It's just not right," she said sadly, and for all the pro-porn power in the world it's hard to disagree with her. What's an internet sexpert to say?

To reach The Clickable Clit, write to bonnie [at] heroine-sheik [dot] com—or follow her exploits in detail throughout the week at her cybersex blog, Cybersexy.

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