Gone are the days when rock stars exhorted their fans to toss errant pieces of hotel furniture from the eighth floor and consume drug cocktails. These days all they want you to consume is milk. And Denny's. I mean, what rocks harder then milk? Milk AND Moons Over My Hammy.

I'm speaking specifically of the Plain White T's, who are part of Denny's bizarre "Allnighter" promotion which peddles concoctions allegedly created by real rock stars who, you know, stay up all night and eat heart shaped pancakes. Rebranding is a tricky business, and catering to the elderly with early bird specials is probably not the most stable market out there, so I can see where Denny's is coming from. I'm just not sure poor quality digital photos of Jesse Hughes from Eagles of Death Metal staring dispassionately from behind mirrored aviators at something that looks like whip cream on American Cheese is the way to appeal to The Kids.

The Plain White T's contribution to the Denny's Allnighter lineup is a "Plain White Shake" with some kind of cheesecake-like element mashed into it.

The band is also part of a "Milk Rocks" contest that "spreads the word on health, nutrition and exercise on up to 24 million branded cartons of milk per day." Wooooo! Branded Milk cartons! I won't go into the vagaries of the contest here, but it involves "karaoke-style video recording ", and a "select group of industry insiders." The Plain White T's are participating in the contest because they care about you, of course: "...[it's] the perfect way to hook our fans up with ultimate rock star experience while giving them a few tips on how to stay healthy." Um, yeah, right after you down your cheesecake milkshake. --Andy Wright