Last Night: Christopher Titus at Cobb's Comedy Club
(Photo via ChristopherTitus.com)
Cobb's Comedy Club
September 18, 2008
Notes by Janine Kahn
Two years ago, Christopher Titus filed for divorce after realizing it really wasn't normal to live with a woman who stole six figures from his bank account and passed it off as identity theft. These days he's free of his cheating, boob job-getting, knife-waving psycho wife and is back on the stand-up beat, wearing his failed relationship battle scars proud -- and telling everyone who'll listen his side of the story. It's almost like some bizarre sort of therapy for the comedian, but the audience liked his dark anecdotes enough to line up and have him sign stuff after the show.
"I'm bitter but I'm funny about it," Titus told a relatively full Cobb's Comedy Club last night, after launching into the familiar litany of parts his ex had surgically enhanced on his dime. If your wife gets a boob job over a decade into the marriage, he told the crowd, "don't go thinking it's for you. That's fresh meat on a new hook."
"I rebuilt this bitch from the ground up," lamented Titus, who wished the marital assets would truly be divided fairly so that he could get half the silicone back. "I wanna leave the court room with a jar," he said with bright eyes and a face-splitting grin.
In an interview that hit the Web earlier in the year, Titus warned couples on the rocks about coming to his upcoming show: "If you bring your date, either the show will fix your relationship or fucking destroy it."
Titus apparently routinely tells the duos in attendance that if they've come with someone they're in a bad relationship with, to "wait 10 minutes, then say you have to go to the bathroom and then just leave." No one stood up when he hit the Cobb's crowd with that bit, at least from what I could tell. But for all I know, a couple of relationships were broken up last night -- which would have been just as well with Titus, who's been using his "Love is Evil" tour to talk against prolonging the agony of relationships doomed for the dumpster.
Using dark personal material that hits too close to home isn't new for Christopher Titus. His self-titled FOX TV show captured his dysfunctional family life to a t and he quips easily about his manic-depressive deceased mother (who later killed herself and her husband at the time), remembering the time she showed up to his graduation in go go boots and a tight army jacket. "My umbilical cord was a crazy straw," he said, and proceeded to tell us how he was conceived during revenge sex.
His act ranged from the things men hate-about-women-but-are-too-afraid-to-tell-them (with the "fashion abortion" that is capri pants topping the list off) to the way his new 29-year-old Master's degree carrying model of a girlfriend goofs on his 20-year-old seduction techniques, saying his tighty whities made her feel like she was "making love to a mutant 4-year-old."
Change is good, said the comic, telling the crowd he'd lost 28 lbs over the course of his divorce.
"That's what a soul weighs," said Titus to massive applause.
Personal Bias: Joe Klocek opened for Titus, and was awesome, but I'd already heard most of his material from the time he opened for Rob Riggle at Cobb's. It was funny knowing the punchlines before they were uttered.
Random Detail: Titus says everyone has an "inner retard." His was very vocal last night.
By the Way: Mr. Titus will be at Cobb's till Sunday night. If you're with someone you need an excuse to leave, take 'em with you.