A list of things of note at Neil Martinson's Smile Club at The Knockout's Cinco de Mayo night:

Super cute two-girl White Stripes-y opening band called Two Seconds.

My friend Tara reporting that there was someone in the bathroom, pooping, and talking to her friend on the phone about pooping. "Oh my god, it's so weird to be pooping in a bar!"

A pair of the kind of girls who are so pretty and funny they're distracting everyone in the place with their teal zebra-stripes and '80s lace stockings.

The band we came to see, Venus and Mars, psych-Brit-popping the hell out of some beautiful songs and not only wearing matching short-sleeved button-up shirts but also featuring a 12-string guitar.

My new phrase for anything you feel may be awkwardly attracted to, sexually or otherwise: "I want to slow dance with it." So I want to slow dance with the photobooth, which is so skilled that it causes the two distracting girls to lay around on the floor for a while, and puts Tara and I in the right place at the right time to hear a woman yell from the back of the room "The music is adequate!" --Hiya Swanhuyser