Usually during the beginning of Top Model I'm so concerned about what ridiculous stuff Tyra will do that I never really payed attention to the intro. Essentially it has Ms. Banks and the rest of the ladies dressed up like old school prostitutes and slutting around the screen. How awkward and uncalled for. The sad part is, from the intro it only gets worse. It seems this season of ANTM the CW feels so compelled to produce absurd television that they've turned it into a total freak show.
This week the ladies' first challenge began at a firehouse. After watching how quickly firefighters changed into their uniforms to go do their thang, the girls had to try it themselves. Only, their idea of firefighting clothes consisted of short black shorts, a white button up, suspenders, a hat and heinous clog-ish boots (or at least they were supposed to look like boots). Fatima missed the shoes and Ms. Jay seemed less than pleased. They practiced their runway walks and almost everyone sucked, but Stacy-Ann felt more than pleased to have firefighters watching her. Shouldn't they be saving people instead of watching runway shows on tax payers dollars? On the way home Amy called the shower (she doesn't like to shower with other girls) and mass drama ensued. Eventually Whitney (plus size babe) got involved, and Dominique (Fergie/Tranny) got angry. She called Whitney "not cultured" and "young." Them's fightin' words.
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Then the girls went to walk in a fashion show for Tulen with guest judges Jaslene (who according to Amis looks like a "Latin Sandwich" of sorts) and Ann from Seventeen Magazine. The show involved outfit changes and Whitney flashed the audience, Lauren practically ran the runway and Fatima buttoned her sweater incorrectly. Katarzyna won and participated in a Seventeen photo shoot with her two picks Marvita and Amis, and Jaslene.
The photo shoot, an attempt to test extreme elements, was both disgusting and rad. The girls posed in a meat packing warehouse and wore meat. Sure, it looked deplorable and cold, but I love watching models in pain. Plus, any show with beef scarves, bras and panties rules.
During panel Tyra decided to introduce musical elements to the show by singing her introduction of the judges. She's gotta be on drugs. When asked the inspiration for the photo shoot she claimed, "Wanna be in the industry? That's what you're gonna be treated like -- a side of beef." Poignant words, my friend. Fatima, who claimed she "would die for this competition," and Amis, who showed up to panel in a jogging headband and hoodie, were the bottom two. Amis got slaughtered. Serves her right, she looked like a man. Wanna be on top? - Melissa Baron
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