Folding Shorty Like a Porno Poster?: The Top 10 Stolen Songs of the Week
(Every week, we take a look at what's burning up the CD-Rs around the country by listening to and writing about the Top 10 Illegal Downloads of the week, as charted by Big Champagne.com. This week, Colbie gets dumped for more T Pain.)
1) Flo Rida ft. T Pain - "Low"
This song gets more lame by the minute. Why is anyone still listening to it? Perhaps it's lyrical intrigue. I guess after a trillion listens shorty was hot like a toaster/sorry but I had to fold her/like a pornography poster starts to sound like Shakespeare.
2) Chris Brown - "With You"
In this song baby boy Brown says I don't need money/I don't need cars/girl, you're my all. That's pretty much an open invitation for downloading.
3) Alicia Keys - "No One"
I consider myself an Alicia Keys fan and even I think it's time for a new single. At least she beat Fergie!
4) Fergie - "Clumsy"
Finally she moves down the charts and not up! No more "Clumsy!" Please?!
5) Britney Spears - "Piece of Me"
Has anyone that downloaded or shared this song even heard it? In addition to sounding robotic and irritating, the lyrics suck. Britney Spears and Flo Rida should do a duet.
6) OneRepublic - "Apologize"
This song rawks. The Timbaland remix RAWKS even harder. Instead of crying because Colbie Caillat bounced off the charts I'm stoked for OneRepublic.
7) Baby Bash ft. T Pain - "Cyclone"
I can't believe T Pain is featured twice on this list. Too bad "Cyclone" bores me. Cyclones wreck havoc and instill terror, this song makes me fall asleep. Sorry Baby Bash, not impressed.
8) Rhianna - "Don't Stop the Music"
She's on the cover of "Cosmo" this month -- along with a story called "Your Va-Jay-Jay: Fascinating New Facts About Your Lovely Lady Parts." Aweeeeeeeeeeeesome.
9) Sean Kingston - "Take You There"
It totally sounds like he's saying "take you der" throughout this whole song. Articulate, Sean. It's not that hard.
10) Wyclef Jean - "Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)"
Wyclef rocks USF, I rock USF. We already have so much in common! How could I not love "Sweetest Girl"? Seriously though, this song rules. Wyclef+Akon=winning my heart. Big time. - Melissa Baron