Pussy Got Akon Zonin' on Big Champagne's Top 10 Illegal Downloads for the Week

Categories: Music

(Every week, we take a look at what's burning up the CD-Rs around the country by listening to and writing about the Top 10 Illegal Downloads of the week, as charted by Big Champagne.com. This week, alt rock gets stomped in the yard.)

1) Flo Rida ft. T Pain - "Low"
This song plays absolutely everywhere. All the time. Why do people
listen to it? You're not at the club, you don't drive an Escalade and
you probably don't suck -- so why listen to music that does?
2) Chris Brown - "With You"
Not only does lil baby (18 year-old) Chris Brown have a career as a musician, he also dabbled in acting! He played the love interest of Kaitlin Cooper (younger sister of the late Marissa) on "the OC", celebrated his 18th birthday on "My Super Sweet Sixteen" AND played a roll in Stomp the Yard. Shouldn't he be in school or something?
3) Alicia Keys - "No One"
What more can be said about my girl Alicia? Still hot, still has major pipes -- Yep. I've said it all.
(Click 'More' for the rest)

4) Fergie - "Clumsy"
Stop encouraging her! The more people buy or listen to this song the more Fergie thinks it might actually be good. Bring back "London Bridge"!
5) Colbie Caillat - "Bubbly"
Ah, the pop appeal. Caillat is the new Joss Stone. Who knows if that's a good thing.
6) Britney Spears - "Piece of Me"
Supporting Britney remains an act of social ignorance. She still has a career after drug abuse and child neglect? Though, better to download than to buy. Don't want to fuel the fast food habit.
7) Rhianna - "Don't Stop the Music"
Her Grammy dress was hideous, and she ruined the word "umbrella," but girl rocks the short hair. Ella. Ella. Ay. Ay.
8) PLIES ft. Akon - "Hypnotized"
Love me some Akon. Put him on a track and it becomes a guaranteed hit for all the ladies. As for PLIES, I've never even heard of you.
9) Sean Kingston - "Take You There"
Like any Sean Kingston song could top "Beautiful Girls." Nice try, pal.
10) Mario - "Crying Out for Me"
Where's the love for Mario? He's the man. How dare Britney Spears AND
Fergie (worst songs ever) move up a space and Mario's still stuck on the
-Melissa Baron

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