Juno, Preggo Porn, Erik Otto, and SF Sketchfest - Your Monday Morning Hangover

My girlfriend just got back from Juno, and now she's all in love with it, too. "You would really love this movie," she says. Probably, but you know what? Fuck Juno.

There's nothing funny or precious about teen pregnancy. It's an ongoing, real-time national tragedy that ruins girls' lives. "If my daughter got pregnant at 16, all this work would be for nothing," says my 22-year-old new-Dad friend. "I would tell her, 'Darling, all is lost.'"

Juno is just implied teen preggo porn for nerds, who can only handle their teen preggo porn as an implication. "Now, now, it's a big jump from Juno to teen preggo porn," some may scoff, but I disagree.

Start with Juno, recall Britney's 16-year-old sister leading by knocked up example, then take another step backward to a preggo, 12 year-old-looking Christina Aguilera on the cover of Marie Claire this month, and the next step is a full-on societal fascination with underage insemination.

It's all on the same continuum, people! Can we not wait to impregnate our new uteri till they're 18? Jesus! ...

Welcome to Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.

Um, what happened this weekend? Besides the five-year storm and Juno warming gonads across the nation — we were at Erik Otto's opening of "The Calm Before the Storm," which was dope. Other than that we kicked it and tried not to drown.

This week, we rule your monitor. Every day, Laser-Guided Awesome gathers life hacks for cheaper, easier more fun to use San Francisco

Every Monday: SF Government InAction tells you what's going to happen this week at City Hall, and Raiders Suck Niners Suck wraps up its sucky coverage for the season.

Every Tuesday:
The Lowbrow Art Sale curated by Josh from Creep Machine will help you max out that credit card on something other than PS3 games, and San Francisco Blogs so we cover it in a weekly feature called BetterKnowAnSFBlog.

Every Wednesday:
Hot Comments on SF Weekly get some attention, and the SF Music Stream includes Lupe Fiasco and Kate Nash.

And Thursday:
SF Sketchfest starts with a Will Franken interview.

And this Friday: We do the Friday Morning Pre-Party and learn of Christopher Hitchens' Next Ten Controversial Books, including "How The Missionary Position Ruins Everything."

Plus we'll be at:
The 01.10.08 art opening of Ben Tour at Fifty24SF.
The 01.12.08 art opening of the Shooting Gallery's "Beautiful Moment".
and the 01.12.08 Zion-I show at the Independent.

Cheers, mates. And ladies, consider getting your eggs frozen until after you're a college graduate.

(Your Monday Morning Hangover hits at 9-ish a.m. every Monday morning with a weekend review, plus a weekly news and culture outlook, because we feel sorry for you clowns — driving your clown cars to your clown offices where you do clown work and lunch on clown food.)

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