Suicide Food: "Any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed ... a bellwether of our decadent society."

Judged on a five-noose scale ranging from one noose ("mildly troubling") to five ("Ye gods! I must go wash out my eyeballs!") Suicide Food's creator and ethical-eating vegan Ben Grossblatt tends to target hometown-looking barbecue joints featuring cartoon depictions of smiling pigs, dancing cows, and chickens happily sweating it out over the roasting fire.

Whether you visit for the wide variety of colorful Americana or to stoke your outrage over the way people "distance carnivorous diners from the cruelty and death that seasons their dinners," a good time is almost guaranteed.

-- Brian Bernbaum