Flavored Tainted Banquet Pot Pies May Have Caused Outbreak
Not like you need me to tell you this, but here goes: Don't eat frozen, generic pot pies. Not because they tend to taste like shit, not because they take absolutely forever to cook in the oven, but because they may have caused an outbreak of salmonella poisoning that has sickened more than 100 people in dozens of states.
Latchkey kids across the country, take heed: I know the whole "pie" thing makes it sound good, but do yourself a favor and stick with the microwavable burritos.
The Omaha-based food giant ConAgra, who makes the pies in question -- Banquet pot pies, as well as similar store-brand generics -- has stopped making the offending frozen food abominations (they say "voluntarily" like it's some generous offer). The company then swiftly issued a statement essentially blaming the public for not fully cooking the pot pies. Huh. Maybe if they didn't take a goddamned hour to bake it wouldn't be such a problem, no?
-- Brian Bernbaum