Nude Muppets Eye-Rape Childhood in SF
So ASD finally saw Team America: World Police last night, which makes us pretty much the last South Park fans in America to have seen the scat-play, golden shower and piledriver puppet sex scenes in the film. Yee gods. On a similar tip, ASD's theatre critic Chloe Veltman sat through the Tony Award-winning naughty puppet musical Avenue Q and brings us back this blow by blow, letter by letter. Like a car accident, we're tempted to stop by this show while it tours through SF. -d2
THE A-THRU-Z OF AVENUE Q
The Muppet-inspired Broadway musical, Avenue Q, has opened in San Francisco. The producers suggest that patrons leave their kids at home for Avenue Q is R-rated stuff. But should your little ones ask what you thought of the show the next morning over breakfast, here's what you can tell them:
A is for Annoying puppets
B is for Better experienced high
C is for Cookie Monster reincarnated as a porn king
D is for Daring to make kindergartners cry
E is for Entertainment that's fashionably off-beat
F is for Forget Fozzie Bear
G is for Gary Coleman eat your heart out
H is for Hair, fur and more hair
I is for Imagine a world in which marionettes and humans co-habit
J is for Jim Henson avert your eyes
K is for Kill those squeaky, fluffy bastards
L is for Laughing, schadenfreudlike, as you listen to their demented little cries
M is for Monsters are great in bed
N is for Necking on a hot puppet date
O is for Opening up the closet
P is for Pretending to be straight
Q is for Q the Avenue
R is for Raunchy, pseudo-risque humor
S is for Sticking your arm up a puppet's behind
T is for Tickling the tumor
U is for Unilateral disarmament
V is for Vogueishly abstract
W is for Wanting my money back
X is for eXit swiftly out back
Y is for Yapping a song like a pneumatic poodle
Z is for Zoo-full of critters
I think it's time to conclude this short rhyme
Cos those critters sure give me the jitters. -By Chloe Veltman
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