Burrito Eater In The Examiner: Intestinal Apocalypse Now

Good lord, or should we say Dios Mio. The Examiner brings news today of Burrito Eater Charles Hodgkins' 500th review, spanning San Francisco's 165 taquerias. Someone give this man some kind of award, please. With his hilariously exhaustive 10-moustache rating system, Intestinal Apocalypse Monthly newsletter (best name ever) and average intake of 10 to 14 "slabs" a month, it's miraculous Hodgkins can remain objective, and, you know, still move.

The downside is that in a city where everyone's a burrito expert, Hodgkins proves that we're all just a bunch of burrito idiots, and he's got the data to back it up. So what which bean-bomb does the expert rate highest? The Mission's Papalote Taqueria scores an Overall Moustache Rating (OMR) of 8.65, with Gordo Taqueria (Inner Sunset) close behind with 8.48 OMR.

Take that, La Taqueria loyalists.