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Apparently Howard Stern's latest prank went a little too far for one country sweetheart. Stern created an X-rated fake segment supposedly from Dolly Parton's audio book, manipulating her words so her reading came out Stern-level lewd (including a comment about Kenny Rogers and little boys and Linda Ronstadt being a "really bad tub of shit"). The joke falls pretty flat, aiming straight for shock-jock humor, but it still was enough to rile up Mrs. Parton.

Parton responded today with a statement that shows some music sweethearts are not to be messed with. From Dolly's press folks: "I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life. I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth.

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Oakland indie pop band The Heavenly States just announced some good news: they'll be opening for Spoon on the Austin band's three-night run at the Fillmore September 22, 23 and 24th. Good news for the States, the band previously most famous for being the first rock act to play Libya after that country lifted a 30-year ban on the Devil's music. The Fillmore crowd won't be the same thing as playing that British consulate's basement in Libya, but since these shows are guaranteed to sell out, it should help the four-piece beyond the fervent ex-pat community overseas. Not that America has ignored them -- Rolling Stone recently gave their latest record, Delayer, high praise. -- Jennifer Maerz

Greg Anderson is owner of Southern Lord records, home to Earth, Om, sunn O))) and other variations on the metal and meditation themes. He's also a musician, though, having played in sunn 0))), Goatsnake, and Engine Kid. His latest project, Ascend, is a parnership with Gentry Densley (Iceburn, Eagle Twin), and their debut record re-visits the times they've been "heavily experimenting with the fusion of jazz (Mahavishnu Orchestra, Miles Davis, John Coltrane) and the dark behemoth tones of influences such as The Melvins, Gore, Slint, and the Caspar Brötzmann Massaker" as well as "traveling into uncharted territory all done with the utmost focus on heaviness and power." Ascend's new disc, Ample Fire Within, comes out May 27, and features guest appearances from Steve Moore (Earth, sunn 0))), Bubba Dupree (Void) and Kim Thayil (Soundgarden). But you can sample a heavy dose of Ascend(ed) thought here, on the track "Ample Fire Within." -- Jennifer Maerz

I Left My Heart in a Donut Shop, 6pm
CounterPULSE - 1310 Mission at Ninth St.

Iggy Scam, famous among Mission District punks as a 'zine writer, musician, and activist, has grown older. He changed his name back to Erick Lyle, for example. He hasn't changed much else, though: His book, On the Lower Frequencies: A Secret History of the City, is pro-junkie, anti-cop, and maintains a number of other attitudes that would drive any self-appointed responsible adult into a frothing fury. Drawing material from Lyle's 'zine, Scam ("The Epicenter of Crime: The Hunt's Donuts Story" is reprinted in its elegiac entirety), as well as the infamous Tenderloin newspaper, the Turd-Filled Donut, the book chronicles life in San Francisco in the 1990s from the perspective of a welfare-getting, needle-exchanging, SRO-hotel inhabiting punk. It's not your typical dot-com story, to put it mildly. It's not your typical self-involved wasteoid memoir, either. Lyle's writing is brilliant, as sparkly as broken glass and besotted with a deeply egalitarian, big-hearted love for a San Francisco most people don't even like to look at. Special bitterness is reserved for Gavin Newsom's "Care Not Cash" billboard campaign, in which (in case you don't remember) bitchy-looking yuppies held cardboard signs bearing anti-homeless slogans. Lyle's the guy who spent a little time replacing the intended messages with this kind of thing: "I am a totally selfish asshole who doesn't care if homeless people die as long as it doesn't happen on my doorstep and no tourists accidentally see it."

The book's release party is huge, and features guest speakers Paul Boden of the S.F. Coalition on Homelessness, Antonio Roman-Alcala of Alemany Farm, and Mary Howe of S.F. Needle Exchange; art by Sara Thustra, Ivy Jeanne, and Heather Renee Russ; and music by Shotwell, the Judy Experience, and Black Rainbow. --Hiya Swanhuyser

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For those who have been dying to buy tickets for the long-awaited Pharcyde reunion at this year's Rock the Bells, die no further. Tickets are available this Saturday. The scenario:

ON SALE SATURDAY, MAY 17th AT 10:00AM!

ROCK THE BELLS
featuring:
A TRIBE CALLED QUEST
NAS
MOS DEF
RAKIM
METHOD MAN & REDMAN, RAEKWON & GHOSTFACE, IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE, DEAD PREZ, MURS, SPANK ROCK, WALE, JAY ELECTRONICA, B.O.B., KIDZ IN THE HALL, AMANDA BLANK
with special guests: THE PHARCYDE
hosted by: SUPERNATURAL & SCRATCH (of The Roots) and DJ LATERN
Saturday, August 16, Doors 10:00am/ Show 11:00am
Shoreline Amphitheatre
Tickets are $75.00, $59.50 for reserved seats and $35.50 for general admission plus applicable service charges
Special 4 pack of lawn tickets available $99.00
VIP tickets available for $175.00 (details at LiveNation.com)

--Oscar Pascual

Prepare for twice the amount of peroxide blonde hair and bad-ass sneering, because Billy Idol is now playing an additional Fillmore show. Rock the cradle of love:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

SECOND BILLY IDOL SHOW ADDED DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND- ON SALE NOW

BILLY IDOL
Thursday, June 26, Doors 8:00 PM/Show 9:00PM
and Friday, June 27, Doors 8:00 PM/ Show 9:00PM - JUST ADDED! ON SALE NOW!
The Fillmore
Tickets are $49.50 for general admission plus applicable service charges

--Oscar Pascual

I doubt they'll record Lalo Schifrin's classic TV theme song, or feature any Scientologist hack actors on the album, but Metallica have launched a website dedicated to their new album: Mission: Metallica

More info from the Voice of Corporate Music Worldwide. -- John Graham

Joe Sorren "La Luna"

It's been a while since I have shown any prints from Joe Sorren, he really doesn't release that many and when he does they don't last very long. This one is from a very generous edition of 1000, it's signed and numbered and is 23" x 31". I love the colors he used in this, and the figure features that great style that he has in so many of his works. There are actually a few different prints available at this gallery, but I think the colors and layout help this one stand out the most.
Get It Here

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Having dated dudes whose music taste would make even the non-snobs cringe (one specific guy comes to mind who just loved the Blue Man Group -- and not in an ironic, Arrested Development way), I can see the appeal of matchmaking based on good taste. But something about Rocknrolldating.com screams Hot Topic more than it does hot 'n' heavy. Then again, I've never really needed a guy who was into "Goth Rock / Industrial" ... although, ok, easily ignoring the entire "jam band/Deadheads" pool of single guys in flip-flops could save many ladies a whole lotta trouble.

The music lovers' dating site, which launched last week, includes one interesting bit of trivia: it's the brainchild of Daniel House, who played in O.G. grunge band Skin Yard (which included legendary Seattle producer Jack Endino) and who also launched C/Z records (once the home to NW acts like Built to Spill, 7 Year Bitch, the Gits, and Nirvana). Now there's a guy who had some good taste in music once upon a time. Check off the "grunge/stoner" category and per chance Daniel (or the rockers he inspired) will be just your type. -- Jennifer Maerz

By Andrea Pflaumer

(Check out some video from their website. They look like they're on “Pakistani Idol.” Amina is the blonde with the white head-wrap sitting behind Tahir.)

If you happened to catch Pakistani television last year (and hey, who didn’t?) you might have seen camera crews following a group of young American kids sporting some serious dreadlocks. That group, Fanna Fi Allah, make up what is called a Qawwali party, musicians who perform devotional music to the words of Sufi saints like Rumi, Baba Farid and Mouinniden Chisti. Typically, a Qawwali group includes 6-8 musicians: a lead singer, two harmoniums, some pretty bombastic tabla playing and an accompanying hand-clapping chorus. On May 17, Fanna Fi Allah performs at Yoga of Sausalito at 7:30 pm.

Fanna Fi Allah’s leader, 28-year-old Tahir Qawwali, (born Geoffrey Lyons in Nova Scotia), began exploring Eastern music as a teenager, influenced by the Beatles’ use of Indian instruments. “A lot of (young) people look to alternatives,” he explains. “I really got into the Upanishads and studied Sanskrit and traditional classical Hindustani music.” At the age of 16 after studying tabla for two years, Tahir took himself off to India to apprentice as a student of voice and theory with his first musical guru, Pundit Pashupati Nath Mishra. While there, he also taught himself Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu. Eventually he moved to Pakistan to become a student of Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan [nephew of the world’s most famous Qawwali singer, the late Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan] and Muazzam Ali Khan.

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Like London's the Duke Spirit, San Franciso's Love Like Fire offers a rush of angsty alt rock that merges melodic come-ons with anxious verbal knockouts. Singer Ann Yu is a strong seductress, her vocal range setting the emotional tone for the band as she glides between a soft romantic tremble and a firm adminitions that she's unwilling to save the weak hearts that surround her. Today's MP3 of the Day is "From a Tower," a track that swirls atmospheric effects around Yu's wistful warble. -- Jennifer Maerz

Cloud Cult, Kid Dakota, Love Is Chemicals, 9pm, $10
Bottom of the Hill - 1233 17th St. at Missouri

Much like fellow indie chamber-rock groups the Arcade Fire and Polyphonic Spree, Minnesota-based Cloud Cult delivers cathartic, emotional climaxes and transcendent orchestrations. Principal songwriter Craig Minowa has unleashed a flood of intricate miniature symphonies as a form of creative therapy since the 2002 death of his infant son. Cloud Cult's latest, Feel Good Ghosts (Tea-Partying Through Tornadoes), further explores the band’s unusual intersection of heartfelt existentialist lyrics, lush arrangements, and glitch-heavy beat programming. With Minowa planning an indefinite hiatus for the group following its current tour, fans who want to experience Cloud Cult’s soaring melodies and unique live show (complete with onstage painters and screen projections) should hightail it to the Bottom of the Hill on Tuesday, May 13, at 8:30 p.m. Admission is $10; call 621-4455 or visit www.bottomofthehill.com. --Dave Pehling

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Mike Patton (Faith No More, Fantômas, etc.) and Dan the Automator (Dr. Octagon/Kool Keith, Deltron 3030, Handsome Boy Modeling School, etc.) have a new collab project called Crudo, and they're making their first-ever live appearance next Thursday, May 22, at the Great American Music Hall.

Originally deemed a "secret" show to precede their "official" world debut at the Sasquatch Festival on Saturday the 24th -- they're playing the "Wookie Stage" at that Washington State fest -- the GAMH gig gives the City first dibs on hearing just what these two iconoclasts have cooked up. Peeping Tom, the previous Patton/Dan collab (with Kid Koala, Amon Tobin, and the Roots' Rahzel), shifted from trip-hop chillers to rawkin' killers without a moment's warning, so Crudo could be just about anything: jokey sci-fi-cartoon electro, avant-thrash with raps about obscure Roman senators, or fizzling bleeps and car-crash beats and grunts that sound like a cow being anal-probed by Venusians.

To unshroud the mystery a little bit, we contacted Patton's regular PR queen, who in turn contacted Mike's manager, and he described Crudo thusly: "Avant-garde hip-hop is a great description -- more hip-hop than Peeping Tom, but quirky and electronic as well."

So there's a teaser for you. In the meantime, peep the video for Peeping Tom's song "Mojo." --John Graham

Radiohead is fine and dandy, but I wish that they'd put down the multi-layered musicianship once in a while to record some nice, sappy love songs. Waitaminute, I forgot we have Coldplay for that. Check them out at San Jose's HP Pavilion on July 24. Tickets go on sale Sat., June 14, at 10 a.m. --Oscar Pascual

Don't you wish comedians had the same aesthetics and values as indie rock? Then check out Eugene Mirman. He's signed to Sub Pop and tours with the Comedians of Comedy, which means the dude's got a ton of indie cred to spare. Mirman plays the Mezzanine on May 20. Get your tickets here. --Oscar Pascual