Smoking Alcohol Is the New Idiotic Boozing Trend

Categories: WTF?

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Kids these days. One minute they're simply butt-chugging alcohol in a misguided attempt to get super-drunk super-quickly, the next they're involved in an elaborate scheme involving booze and dry ice to take drunkorexia to the next level. We came across this "trend" to smoke booze in order to lose weight (you just ingest the alcohol, not the calories, you see) on the Huffington Post, via an unintentionally hilarious news report from a Fox News affiliate in which a doctor calls marijuana smoking a "fad."

See also: Annals of Sad Press Releases: The Jellinator
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Cocktail Culture: Evolving Beyond Beards and Suspenders Into Something Weirder Still

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Cook Like Ferran Adrià In Your Own Kitchen With New EasyKits

Categories: Cookware, WTF?

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Guzmán Gastronomía
The spherification kit helps you "create spheres of different sizes and shapes that explode in the mouth."
Modernist Cuisine At Home, Nathan Myhrvold's scaled-down version of his six-volume opus Modernist Cuisine, was supposed to be the molecular gastronomy manual for the home cook -- though according to an account from Grubstreet writer Matthew Latkiewicz, it wasn't exactly the easiest manual to follow.

Now brothers Albert and Ferran Adrià have gotten in the game, peddling a suite of "EasyKits" that allow you to recreate molecular masterpieces in your own kitchen. The four kits -- Cuisine, Patisserie, Cocktail, and Spherification -- contain molecular gastronomy ingredient standbys like xantham gum, agar, algin, and gluco, as well as recipe books and necessary tools like syringes and tweezers.

See also: Watch the Trailer For Tasting Menu, A New Foodie Rom-Com From Spain

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Semen Cocktails: The Mixology of Man Sauce Is a Real Thing

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It would have been simpler if Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer, semen-cooking enthusiast, were more of a creep. Then it would have been easy to dismiss his self-published cookbooks, 2011's Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes and the new Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook -- two volumes that literally made me throw up in my mouth a little bit when I received them.

They have recipes like Slightly Saltier Caviar, Special 'S' Barbecue Sauce, Mexican Cumslide, and Watermelon Gin Jizz, all which require teaspoons and tablespoons of the stuff. There are sentences such as, "Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic," along with tips on how to make one's semen taste better (ginger!) and last longer (keep it in the freezer!). And then there are the photos, which give a new dimension to the term "food porn."

See also: Meet the Man Who Had Sex with a Dolphin (and Wrote a Book About It)

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Baconalia is Back at Denny's With Ad Campaign That Will Never Go Viral

Categories: WTF?

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Baconalia is back at Denny's, and a fun game is to imagine the meeting that the Denny's creative team held in order to come up with the advertising campaign. You can just picture some suit in thick-framed glasses going "What are kids into these days? FailBlog videos? Memes? Let's get some of those in there, try to viralize this thing."

So they made the Denny's Baconalia microsite, which centers around the tagline "bacon makes everything better." It's a prime example of how not to appeal to the youth market.

See also: Bacon-Flavored Coffee, Toothpaste, Candy Canes, and 33 More Ridiculous Bacon Products
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Shots Fired: Five Restaurant Websites That Make Us Feel Violent

Bad restaurant sites make people click through for the address.
SFoodie has previously fired warning shots to restaurants to get their act together when it comes to making a website. But it seems the industry hasn't listened, and now it's time to name names. These five restaurants may have fine food, but you'd never know it by their terrible websites. These five examples illustrate various archetypes and honestly make us feel like kicking something:

See Also:
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Elvis: Where to Eat Like Him on His Birthday

Categories: Palmer, WTF?

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Wikimedia Commons/Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc.
Elvis Presley would have been 78 today.
Need an excuse to go crazy on the carbs today? It's Elvis Presley's 78th birthday and at least one Bay Area restaurant is breaking out the extra calories to celebrate. Get ready for the holy trinity of his favorite flavors -- peanut butter, bacon, and banana -- re-imagined in often obscenely good and unhealthy ways.

See Also:
- Elvis Honored in The Bacon-y King Cookie
- Elvis Is Alive -- In Cheetos Dust


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Ridiculous Websites Claim S.F. Doesn't Lead the Country in Brewing or General Booziness

Categories: WTF?

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Flickr/gemma.amor
So we do understand that, statistically speaking, San Francisco can't be the best at everything food- and drink-wise (even though it totally is), and also that complaining about silly Internet lists is like complaining about philandering politicians or high gas prices -- these things will happen no matter how much we lament them, so we might as well accept them and co-exist peacefully. That said, a few ridiculous lists were brought to our attention over the weekend that challenged S.F.'s boozy superiority, and we couldn't just let them go gently into the great listicle graveyard in the sky.

See also:
- Hold Onto Your Livers -- SF Beer Week is Coming
- Zagat Names State Bird Provisions and Mission Chinese "Hottest Restaurants in the World"
- All Tomorrow's Portions: Top 7 Food Trends for 2013


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Torani Releases Chicken-and-Waffle Syrup (For Reals This Time)

Categories: WTF?

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Well, it's happened: As if bacon syrup weren't bad enough, on Monday S.F.-based Torani released a chicken 'n waffles-flavored syrup. Apparently the company sent around a fake press release about the syrup as an April Fool's joke this year, and the people of the Internet were so outraged that it wasn't a real product that Torani decided to create it IRL. So, according to the press release, in late April "the Torani research and development team set out for a day-long flavor safari to Bay Area restaurants like Auntie April's and Frisco Fried, to find the gold standard of this classic food combination." And thus the chicken-and-waffle syrup was born.

See also:
- Chicken-and-Waffle Taco: Nico's Innovation Needs Work


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White House Petition Begs Government to "Nationalize the Twinkie"

Categories: Sweet Beat, WTF?

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As Hostess Brands negotiates with the bakers union and tries to work out a deal to prevent total liquidation, a tribe of Twinkie-loving citizens has banded together and petitioned our government to step in and save the day. "Nationalize the Twinkie industry" is an actual petition on We the People, the White House website that lets ordinary citizens voice the matters that mean the most to them. The people have spoken, and they want sweet snack cakes.

See also:
- The Twinkie Survives to Fight Another Day: Hostess and Union Agree to Mediation
- Hostess: Remembering Forgotten Products and How to Cope With The Loss Locally
- Better Start Stockpiling Those Twinkies: Hostess Announces Plans to Shut Down

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Nate Silver's Past Life as a Burrito Reviewer

Categories: WTF?

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The Burrito Bracket
As if we needed yet another reason to love mathematics genius/magician Nate Silver, the man who reassured us that Obama would indeed win the election on Tuesday (as well as predicted the results of several other races): Mission Mission has discovered that in a past life, Silver ran a blog called The Burrito Bracket reviewing burritos in his Chicago neighborhood.

See also:
- Burrito Eater Will Soon Crown The Next Best Slab in San Francisco


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