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• PETA is up to its usual shenanigans, and this time, they foray into domestic abuse! Sigh. There's so much wrong with this ad that there isn't time to go into it all, and I know PETA will consider it a success based on page views alone, but how many of those are people who click it are going to be turned off from ever looking into veganism? Who knows? I know nonsense like this turned me off for a LONG time. I can safely say that I would've gone vegan a long time before I did if it hadn't been for PETA campaigns. In fact, I vividly remember talking shit about them with friends in college. PETA, you've accomplished amazing things, but this has got to stop before you find yourself fucking AXE Body Spray in a gutter.

• Make me homemade vegan brioche, please. I find you very attractive. Also, this vegan lasagna soup. I love you. I know I don't tell you that enough, but I'm going to start today. Now, when will you be over with my snacks? I love you.

Celine Steen

Stuffed French toast made with brioche HOLY CRAP

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​• It's Vegan Ryan Gosling! Pull your pants back up -- he's not actually vegan. It's just one in the sea of Gosling memes. Ryan Gosling is totally the house that Tumblr built. Anyway, this particular meme is pretty funny and you get to look at shirtless photos of Gosling, so since I have a Tumblr, I'm all for it!
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• There's a new board on Pinterest (IT'S HERE TO STAY) about all the vegan foods at Trader Joe's! Learn it, live it, love it, add delicious shit to it, eat a lot, die fat and happy, be cremated and hope your ashes grow into something that's used in a Trader Joe's product. THE CYCLE IS COMPLETE.

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​ • You've probably all seen this video of Kristen "I'm a vegetarian because I'm half-rad" Bell sobbing over a sloth on your Facebook feed but now, take the time to watch it! Because it's pretty fucking adorable! She has a panic attack from happiness, which I guess is the best kind of panic attack? it's definitely the most adorable kind -- I want to keep her as a pet! And the sloth, too! Can you imagine a better life? Just you, Kristen Bell, and a sloth hanging out on a jungle gym, drinking juice and doing rolls. Hell yeah. Well, since there are many laws that prevent that from happening, you could always visit the Sloth Orphanage in Costa Rica. YES, I said SLOTH ORPHANAGE.

• San Francisco got its own vegan general store! I knew it would happen, that it could happen. Now, we're just as twee and goofy as Brooklyn or Portland. I plan on shopping there all the time and I'll hate myself every second I'm in doing it. I have no choice! I MUST buy $50 organic fair-trade chia seed açai berry dual-action face mask/dip. I NEED it!

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​• PCRM has some whack attack billboard up equating cheese with big luscious thighs and it almost makes this vegan pick up a hunk of gouda and go to town. JOKE I WILL NEVER EAT ABUSED ANIMAL MUCUS but really, knock it the fuck off, PCRM. This campaign makes vegans look like the human-hating idiots they want to think vegans are. It's embarrassing, and I'm tired of defending us all over the internet. It's exhausting! Plus, I've got delicious vegan cookies to eat.

• This is funny! And I found it via a porn star's twitter! That's a win/win as far as I'm concerned.

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​• The awesome Compassion Over Killing launched ads on Hulu this week and they're being very well received! I love the idea of people sitting down to watch Paula Deen tap dance on a dead pig or whatever she does and then BAM! Here's the real deal! Love it -- give COK all your money so they can keep these super successful ads up and running. Go, COK, go!

• These ads from the National Dairy Council are HILARIOUS. I think we all know what it looks like that woman is doing and it rhymes with "giving a hand-job to a t-rex." Seriously, WHAT ADVERTISING AGENCY IS MILK USING FOR THEIR ADS? I really hope a vegan is secretly behind this because high-five, my good woman! Plus, the woman at the end, I am dying--the cast of Troll 2 would make fun of her skills.

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​• Vegan bodybuilders featured in the New York Times. They're huge and scary and fairly-awesome. Proof that you can get yoked without the yolks. HA! Also, where's my article? I'm proof that you can get hella chubs and adorable without animal protein. WHERE'S MY PARADE, HUH? Oh well, at least I've got a badge.

• Check out this YouTube video from some Danish game show where some people are taken aback to learn that pork comes from pigs. SHOCKING EXPOSÉ: Pork comes from pigs! You heard it here first. Also, Danish is my best guess. I actually have no clue what it is or what language they're speaking in. I'm a product of the American school system, what do you want? Socrates? Sorry, you got Forrest Gump.

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​• Make these puffy pillow pancakes for me on New Year's morning. It'll help you get over the (sexy?) shock of waking up and seeing me in your bed. How did I get in? Hide your kids!

• According to U.S. News and World Report, veganism is mainstreaming and we're no longer freaky freaks! Hooray! I wonder if they'll include a bit about what colleges are good for vegans in one of their 10 million college reports. Remember those? Do they still do those? Am I making this up?

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​ ​• Ryan Gosling wrote a letter to McDonald's about the heinous animal abuse on their chicken farms. He did this because he really knows how to get into my pants. Actually, I'm not sure he does. Ryan, call me for directions! My pants are easy to find! They are very large and usually have some sort of candy product in the pockets.

• Have you seen Farm Sanctuary's new rescued baby goat? Because I have and my eyes haven't been the same since. For reals, I now see colors previously unknown to the human eye, and I have insane facial recognition software imbedded in my cornea that allows me to function just like Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible--Ghost Protocol, which you should know, is pretty much the best film you'll see in your life. So far. This week.

• The Atlantic published an absolutely ridiculous piece by Nicolette Hahn Niman about how great it is to eat meat because DUH LADY YOU ARE THE MEAT QUEEN. I wish The Atlantic would let me publish pieces on how great it is give Laura Beck all your money because baby, I would. Actually, I can't blame her. Of course, I had to yell at her dumb ass about it and I don't regret it. That b didn't stand a chance; I always being a gun to a knife fight. What? It's for the animals!

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​ • Beyonce is preggers and so she's eating a vegan diet. Or is it, a partially vegan diet? Which is what EVERYONE ON EARTH EATS. It's like, did you eat anything that wasn't a steak today? Unless it was an egg milkshake, you're partially vegan! Welcome to the club, asshole!

• Need some last minute holiday gifts? Nothing is better than vegan cheese and cookies! If you plied me with vegan cheese and cookies, I'd have at least seven babies for you. Or not have seven babies for you. Your choice, but think about the environment and the impact on my lady parts -- not pretty! But again, your choice.

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​ • Hey kids, I've got a slight cold and when that happens, I cannot function, as all of my efforts must be spent screaming for more hot toddies, ringing bells for service (read: more screaming), and watching Downton Abbey. Let's just get this thing done so I can go back to crying to Mariah Carey's christmas album. Also, binge-eating soy nog cheesecake. Crucial for fighting cold. Now, on with the show!

• Quorn, everyone's favorite English purveyor of vegetarian meats made from magic, is finally introducing a vegan burger. Sorry, vegetarians, vegans are taking away your options and we are not sorry. Go cry into whatever egg-and-cheese pie you're eating, and GOOD DAY, SIR.

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