irrational_cat

​The typical mall food court is the culinary equivalent of The Epcot Center -- a rickety selection of "ethnic" delights poorly prepared and served lukewarm to the grinning consumers of modern America. There the fruits of the world's gastronomic endeavors are reduced to their most basic,  blandly palatable components ... Unless you're lucky enough to stroll down the Concourse level of the Westfield San Francisco Centre.

Though its lowest level maintains the plasticky gleam of a mall eatery, as well as the seemingly required selection of Buckhorn Grills and Kichi Japanese Kiosks seemingly native to all food courts, the Westfield Center also manages to transcend the abject disgust so often associated with a meal spent in the basement of a monument to shopping.

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http://www.greatdepressioncooking.com

Clara, the Depression-era cooking star

B​ig news in the food world: Food Network exec Bruce Seidel is jumping ship for YouTube's new food channel. Considering that the internet seems like it might be here to stay, it's probably not a terrible idea. While Bruce is most likely pondering YouTube's food channel future, we'd like to humbly (?) suggest a few YouTube stars to take with him to the big time. Bruce, call us -- we'll do lunch on you.

5. Nicko's Kitchen
Nicko is a lovely large-and-in-charge Aussie and he's teaching us how to create food, down under-style. He's basically a male version of Guy Fieri -- lots of fast, loud talking and catchy theme songs. He's easy to follow, has adorable kids, and that accent. We like! We're telling you, Bruce, this guy could take off.

4. Depression Era Cooking
The original slow cook, 96 year old Clara, tells tales of surviving the great depression on nothing but a tomato plant and a can of beans. She's adorable, sassy, and LIVED THROUGH THE GREAT DEPRESSION. Have some respect! Clara's show is part History Channel, part Food Network, and 100-percent awesome. She even talks about how, during the depression, bootleggers came door to door to convince people to store whiskey in their backyard. Screw Boardwalk Empire, we've got Clara.

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Cooking with Dog

​First, everyone relax! It's a cooking show about a woman who cooks with her dog. Second, his name is Frances, he's internet savvy, he wears many hats (figuratively and literally), and he loves to sit on the kitchen counter and narrate each episode while his mom (girlfriend? beard?) does the cooking. SFoodie is rightfully obsessed with Frances so get excited for some unsanitary deliciousness via our five favorite episodes. Take it away, dog!

5. Kohaku Namasu (Pickled Daikon and Carrot Salad)
It's a new year's recipe, so we have to include it. Plus, Frances asks for votes in some YouTube contest at the end, and it's truly amazing. If you do one thing for me today, please pay my rent. If you do another thing, please get to the end of this video to see Frances using a PowerBook. He's good in the kitchen, he knows how to work a computer, and he can talk -- he's really got it all!

4. Christmas Crepes
Although the holidays have passed, nothing beats Frances in a Santa hat. Plus, I swear, Frances is sleeping standing up for over half of this episode. Quit sleeping on the job, dog! Okay, okay: Keep sleeping on the job. It's adorable.

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Whether you're Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Shinto, Shaman, anti-consumerist, or Mr. Grinch, you could be one of the millions who don't leave cookies out for an old fat man who illegally enters your home via fireplace-shimmying. And that's okay!

Because here in America, we're known for our tolerance and acceptance of people who don't share our creepy values. That's a total lie, of course, but if you must escape Christmas madness (Communist!), there are a few places where you can seek shelter from the tyranny of Jingle Bells.

5. Chinese food!
It's so standard that it might actually be part of the Collective American Christmas Experience at this point. If you don't have the image of the family from A Christmas Story being greeted by Peking duck with its head still on ingrained in your mind, you must not own a TV, as that shit plays approximately 10 million times on TNT over the holidays. It's half the reason I'm vegan. Anyway, why not go all out and chow down on dim sum? Our picks are Yank Sing if you want to keep your vegetarian relatives happy, or Hong Kong Lounge if you want to get down and dirty.

Yelp/Linda C.

Yank Sing's dim sum.

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4. Halal Restaurants
Who doesn't love a little Naan-N-Curry or Pakwan on Christmas morning? Most Christians! JK, lots of Christians don't celebrate Christmas, and you too can abstain with a gigantic plate of Alu Gobi Masala.

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hober/Flickr

​SFoodie hates the term "gastropub." Hates it. But this city has more and more restaurants that technically qualify. Some are brewpubs where you can eat something more substantial than potato skins and greasy burgers. Some talk up their "beer program" (SFoodie sees that phrase and looks around for our assigned seats and the popcorn stand) and employ a cicerone, also known as a beer sommelier. Whatever you want to call these beer-focused destinations, here are our five favorites:

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We all know that to get through the holidays, you must drink. If you don't drink, may God have mercy on your soul. Here are our picks for festive drinks you can make and enjoy all day on Thursday, and still not look like you have "a problem." Day Time Holiday Drinking, say heeey!

5. Anything with Wild Turkey
Drink it mixed with cranberry for a one-two holiday punch, heated up with honey or agave and lemon in a hot toddy, or just serve it on the rocks. We call it "Thanksgiving Sweet Tea" in my house.

​4. Hot Toddies
Alcohol is somehow adorable and more acceptable when it's heated up. Take advantage of this bizarre truth by going crazy with the microwave. If you add extra lemon and honey, and it's all of a sudden a magical health elixir. All right, sure. Hot alcohol, gotta love it!More >>

Listen, times are tough. If you find yourself in a precarious financial situation this Thanksgiving, but still have to prepare a big meal so friends and family aren't stuck eating your couch cushions (you need those!), here's our foolproof list of inexpensive yet delicious hella cheap Thanksgiving Side Dishes. With all the money you save, you might even be able to add some Silk Nog spiked with Wild Turkey to the table, and we can't think of anything we'd be more thankful for after having to sit through a big plate of Thanksgiving food.

5. Creamed Corn.
About as glamorous as that Carol Channing urban legend but girl, you know it's good, and it comes from a can. Couple of tips: 1) Dent that can and collect that discount. No shame! 2) you can easily DIY it if you've got time and a little extra moola. 3) Throw it in an oven (any oven!) with a cheap biscuit topping or bread crumbs mixed with cheese and watch that dish come alive! (Well, hopefully not, but it depends how old the cans are.)

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There's such abundant love for bacon in this world that thousands of people have hit upon ways to share their love of the crispy pork fat with the rest of us.

But some of these people go to far. Here's five bacon goods we find troubling:

5. Scratch and Sniff shirts
Scratch and sniff items lose their scent almost immediately, leaving the scratcher to squish her nose into the item, eyes closed, trying to recall the scent from the first time she dragged her nail across the image With this bacon-scented shirt, we have to wonder. Are you meant to remove it and then rub it across your face? Or is the benefit of the bacon stink really intended for the owner's friends -- who must love sniffing at chests.

Rue21

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Thanksgiving is about two weeks away, and you're probably a little stressed out. Between crazy family and crazier family, it can be hard to figure out how you're getting food on the table. It's okay, we've compiled a list of the best classes, clinics, and resources to help you get that perfect feast on the table. Or make dinner reservations, whatever. Now that we've taken care of your meals plans, you better start doing sun salutations, hit the shooting range, or do whatever it is you do so that you don't smother your mother in the mashed potatoes. Happy Holidays!

Craig Lee

No-Bake Pumpkin Pie With Gingersnap-Hazelnut Crust & Gingered Whipped Cream.

​5. SF Gate Thanksgiving Section
Big ups to the Chron for putting together a holiday section to rival... other paper's holiday sections. Doing us proud! Find restaurants, classes, cooking techniques, recipes, and pretty much everything else in their comprehensive guide to the big day. They even have illustrations showing you where to put that thermometer. Don't be fresh!

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Thomas Hawk/Flickr

Cheap eats here.

​Now that burritos and falafel wraps cost $8 and a bowl of pho can't be found for less than $6, the under-$5 meal has become a rarity in San Francisco. Damn that Healthy San Francisco. (Kidding.) But the cheap meal is not a unicorn, and there's no need to resort to frozen burritos or step into McDonald's. It's still possible to find meals at local restaurants for $5, including tax and even tip.

Here is where SFoodie eats on the cheap:

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