Thirteen bucks well spent: After taking just one bite out of a Medical Cannabis Turtle Bar Bliss, my nipples began to glow.
|Bliss Edibles' powerful turtle bar.|
My first thought was "But wait, I'm a bear." No, not a Cal fan. Not Yogi. I'm a pleasantly roly poly, bearded bear. My second thought: Hold up -- I'm not a bear! I fuck bears, I'm just not so sure if I am counted among them, especially now that bears shapeshifted into big-titted muscle queens.
Allow me to say I know what you're thinking here: hunh? This is what Turtle Bar sets the mind to. Pecans, halved and toasted. Sweetened condensed milk, brown sugar, cannabis butter, corn syrup, vanilla, and salt, all mixed together on low heat until BOOM, vanilla caramel.
I'm imagining my young culinary chub dipping the nuts and medical-cannabis caramel into some warm milk chocolate, then letting it cool and feeding it to me slowly.
There's more to say about Bliss Edibles, and we'll get to all that in a minute, but my brain is preoccupied with bears, instead, and this idea: That, years ago, having dipped my toes into every shade of the LGBTQ spectrum, I used to feel much more at home in our little bear caves, but our subculture, which used to be so masculine-identified and all-inclusive, has become way too bitchy.
Seriously, when I go to Bearracuda, those fat bitches are looking at me like I'm Carrie at the prom. More »