Beaux, A Fatally Generic Gay Bar, Now Open on Market Street

Categories: Castro, Opening

BeauxExterior.jpg
Pete Kane
Considering that over the last couple of years, gay bars seem to be suffering from colony collapse disorder, we should probably be grateful that the long-shuttered Trigger didn't become a CVS or a Coldwell Banker.

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But Beaux, its replacement club, is just about the blandest thing to open in the Castro in some time. For starters, the layout is all wrong. There aren't nearly enough seats, resulting in a lot of dead space during happy hour as the refreshingly diverse crowd stands in clusters around the kiosk tables, and the centrality of the main bar -- of three -- makes the whole place an unsuitable venue for any sort of "night." (Does Beaux really need three bars? The place isn't that big. Take one out and build a proper dancefloor.) However, Heklina will be hosting a Halloween Costume Contest, and that's a strong plus.

BeauxInterior.jpg
Pete Kane

Otherwise, this place could have been cut and pasted from West Hollywood and driven north on 101 wholly intact. The rotating, lightly kaleidoscopic projections on the wall are as visually uninteresting as they are dated, and of course, some 60 percent of the bottles displayed behind the bar are vodka. At least the staff is friendly (and highly attractive, for what it's worth). Otherwise, Beaux exudes an aura of "we chose to do the least we could do." No interesting cocktails, no kitchen, no trivia night, no actual reason for dropping in when there are a dozen other gay bars in the neighborhood, each with some kind of character.

The sign on the door encouraging people to be quiet and respectful of the neighbors urges patrons to "be a good Beaux," which isn't even grammatically correct. Good Beaux, indeed. And good luck with that.

Beaux, 2344 Market St.

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4 comments
sfsilver465
sfsilver465

So let me understand this,  a "trivia night' would be the revolutionary idea that would have spared us from this snarky review?  And drinking vodka cocktails makes you pedestrian?  Let me guess, Pete Kane has a beard.   

elliott.kennerson
elliott.kennerson

One could muse on the many pronunciations and mispronunciations, meanings and meta-meetings of the name, all day long...Of course it's in the great tradition of plural-nouns for gay bars ("Numbers," "Colors," "Rumors")...as such it is Beaux (silent "X") simply in the French, plural, meaning "beautiful men"; or in Southern parlance, with a nonsilent "X," meaning suitors, callers, escorts...Or Bows, as in bowties, or the things girls wear in their hair...Also, woefully but appropriately mispronounced, it's "Booze" as in liquor or "Boos," as in the plural of "my boo" or many exclamations of disdain...

garrett.tillman
garrett.tillman

Outstanding review. 

Why is it so hard to come up with an original bar in a gay neighborhood? Beaux is almost offensive in the way it rainbow-washes gay culture. 

"You are all smarmy, superficial vodka drinkers who love to stand!"

sayin
sayin

@sfsilver465  Hmmm, what's that on YOUR chin?



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