Distilled Moustache: Brilliant Fake Press Release Submitted to Eater SF

Categories: LOLS

Coming soon to a former speakeasy near you?
Monday is already off to a good start, thanks to another fake press release submission to Eater SF for a new bar called DISTILLED MOUSTACHE. The same jokester sent a fake release to Eater a few weeks ago for a restaurant called Reclaimed Wood & Subway Tiles, which claimed to have ingredients sourced from "pop-up farms," a menu that changed hourly "to provide the freshest ingredients and trends available," and a chef who "once parked Thomas Keller's Prius."

But they've really outdone themselves with the new DISTILLED MOUSTACHE press release, which swiftly satirizes all the current mixology clich├ęs including bar names with ampersands/impossible-to-say acronyms and ridiculous-sounding cocktail ingredients (which the bar plans to grow in an "underground greenhouse").

Our bar manager has an extensive resume, having worked at famous cocktail dens such as: Whiskey & Limb, BOBCASA, Regional Copy, as well as WTF in New York ... We are also currently hiring "Distilloligists" and "Libationologists" to tend to our fine ingredients and tend bar.

Here is a sample cocktail menu: The Vest: Bourbon, moustache sweat, bitters, cactus juice The Stache: Scotch Whiskey, fresh basil, huckelberry juice, Skinny Tie: Rye, lemon, maple syrup, egg white, soda & Angostura bitters Thanks!

Note to the author of these press releases: We're currently looking for new writers, and we'd love to hear from you.

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