Bacon-Flavored Coffee, Toothpaste, Candy Canes, and 33 More Ridiculous Bacon Products

bacon kimtaro.jpg
It wasn't Baconalia that broke us. It wasn't even Burger King's bacon sundae. But yesterday we finally reached the end of our patience with this country's bacon obsession, when we learned that a disgusting-sounding bacon-flavored coffee took home top honors and $10,000 at a Seattle's Best Coffee-sponsored recipe contest at the Iowa State Fair over the weekend. Enough is enough, America.

Instead of writing a long, cranky tirade about how fucking tired we are of bacon-flavored everything (other writers have covered the subject pretty exhaustively), we decided to bring you a comprehensive list of all the bacon-flavored products out there and let you judge for yourselves whether the trend is a delight or an abomination.

Note: We limited this list to products you're actually meant to put in your mouth, which means we left off bacon cologne, bacon soap, bacon candles, bacon shoes, and other such silliness. We also left out one-off restaurant dishes like bacon ice cream, bacon cupcakes, bacon cocktails, etc., because there's not enough time in the world to catalog them all, and their reach is generally hyper-local anyway.

Without further ado, we bring you 35 examples of bacon-flavored ridiculousness you could mail-order today:

  1. Bacon-Flavored Beer
  2. Bacon-Flavored Breath Mints
  3. Bacon-Flavored Caramel Corn
  4. Bacon-Flavored Candy Canes
  5. Bacon Chocolate
  6. Bacon-Flavored Dental Floss
  7. Bacon-Flavored Effervescent Drink Tablets
  8. Bacon-Flavored Envelopes
  9. Bacon-Flavored Frosting
  10. Bacon-Flavored Gumballs
  11. Bacon-Flavored Hot Sauce
  12. Bacon Jam
  13. Bacon-Flavored Jelly Beans
  14. Bacon Jerky
  15. Bacon-Flavored Ketchup
  16. Bacon-Flavored Lip Balm
  17. Bacon-Flavored Lollipops
  18. Bacon-Flavored Lube
  19. Bacon Mayonnaise
  20. Bacon-Flavored Mustard
  21. Bacon-Flavored Olive Oil
  22. Bacon Peanut Brittle
  23. Bacon-Flavored Popcorn
  24. Bacon-Flavored Potato Chips
  25. Bacon-Flavored Salad Dressing
  26. Bacon Salt
  27. Bacon-Flavored Soda
  28. Bacon-Flavored SPAM
  29. Bacon-Flavored Spray Cheese
  30. Bacon-Flavored Sunflower Seeds
  31. Bacon-Flavored Syrup
  32. Bacon-Flavored Taffy
  33. Bacon-Flavored Toothpaste
  34. Bacon-Flavored Toothpicks
  35. Bacon-Flavored Vodka

If all this makes you more hungry than angry, you should probably know that tomorrow night (Thurs. Aug. 30), the Nightlife at the Academy event at the California Academy of Sciences is bacon-themed. There will be bacon snacks from Bacon Bacon and Nosh This!, along with chef demos from Chris Cosentino of Incanto, Stephen Pocock of Boccalone, and Ryan Farr of 4505 Meats. Go forth and worship with your fellow bacon-lovers in peace.

Follow us on Twitter at @sfoodie, and like us on Facebook. Follow me at @annaroth.


My Voice Nation Help

Try our Beastie Bacon Roll- tempura shrimp, seared scallops, chives, soy aioli topped with Niman Ranch Bacon bits!

Josh Edelson
Josh Edelson

I have the toothpaste. It's gross. It tastes like bacon-mint.

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