On Trisha's Country Kitchen, Trisha Yearwood Can't Stop Proving How Damn Country She Is
Each week, we take a quick, cautious look at what's going on with food TV. This week, Trisha's Country Kitchen, a half-hour show of executives laughing at us, Saturdays at 10:30 a.m. on the Food Network.
Guess who has a kitchen!
Trisha Yearwood is a two-time cookbook author with a new show on the Food Network about southern cooking, mostly of the heavy sort served by her mama as she grew up among the -- wait, did you know Trisha Yearwood is a country music star? I did not know that Trisha Yearwood was a country music star until the Food Network just bashed and bashed and bashed me in the face with it like I was a fourteen-year-old with allowance money at a Georgia WalMart.
Proof that Trisha Yearwood is a country music star based on the evidence found in the premiere episode of Trisha's Country Kitchen:
- Trisha holding country music awards in the title sequence.
- Trisha narrating her Food Network cooking show from her top-notch music recording studio.
- Trisha deciding, for her first challenge, to throw a baby shower for her tour manager.
- Trisha saying that her husband is Garth Brooks, who we know is a country music star OR AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE.
- Trisha making food that can be made by looking at the back of a box, like country quiche, or that was made by her mother off the back of a box, like cheese straws and brownies. Seriously, how about that menu? This is what a woman with three Grammys and a cooking show makes for a baby shower.
- Trisha espousing country music wisdom: "I often say, you can be a really great musician, but if you are a jerk you can't really live on the road together, 'cause you're on stage for maybe two hours a night, if you're lucky, and you've got those other 22 hours, you got to get along ... I'm just gonna cook up this sausage."
- Trisha cracking eggs right into the bowl and saying something about her grandmother saying this was the wrong place to crack eggs, or something. I could not follow this.
-- Trisha bringing the camera in close during the egg-cracki -- LOOK AT MY DIAMOND.
- Trisha saying that Garth Brooks adds tortellini to everything and then calling him Gartha Stewart. Pow!
- Trisha saying, "A little more salt, just for grins."
- Trisha saying, "I like things that look like they were hard to make, but were really easy."
- Trisha saying, "You don't have to tell them that it only has four ingredients."
- Trisha making her guitarist come into the kitchen to make cheese straws.
- Trisha saying she gave people cheese straws as gifts when she was broke and got her record deal.
- Trisha making her lead guitarist of 21 years sift flour. He tells a story about a cow on tour. He mispronounces "cookie press" as "cookie breast." Radar up, Garth.
- Trisha moving into the music round of her cooking show, in which she has to make a lullaby for some baby.
- Trisha deciding to make the lullaby for some baby in her top-notch recording studio and make the song a gift from her for the baby shower. I thought only Prince pulled shit like that.
- Trisha saying, "It's not the classic lullaby. It's not something you can go out and buy."
- Me checking that out and finding out you CAN buy it, because it's a song called "Lullaby Baby Blues" by Keb' Mo' off his 1996 album Just Like You.
- Trisha making the keyboard player come into the kitchen to make brownies. He doesn't know how to cook, he knows how to play keyboards. They have an easy camaraderie born of THE ROAD. Trisha can't stop saying THE ROAD. Ha ha, this kitchen is not like THE ROAD, is it, my keyboard player?
- Trisha saying that Garth's favorite dessert is German chocolate cake. First tortellini and now this? Where's this guy from? Quebec? CHECK HIM OUT.
- Trisha making both the keyboard player and the guitarist come into the kitchen to talk about being on THE ROAD with Mary Chapin Carpenter, and how funny it was when Trisha made the guitarist dress like a woman.
- Trisha saying she invited the fiddle player over.
- The guest of honor at baby shower saying to Trisha on the premiere of her cooking show, "I'm just so impressed you guys cooked!"
-Trisha and the keyboard player and the guitarist all playing the lullaby live at the baby shower.
- Everybody looking at the sausage quiche and the cheese sticks and the brownies, Trisha's food, her mama's food, made with love and all this sugar and butter, and just kind of laughing at it all, because it's a baby shower and not some kid's birthday party.
Unless you are a country music fan, Trisha's Country Kitchen might not be for you? Fortunately, next month the Food Network will begin unveiling a slate of music-themed shows, in all genres, from Radiohead's Raw Broccoli at Dawn (It's Cold and Rain Falls) to Eminem's Just Put It in the Crockpot, Bitch to Skrillex's Dope Gyros. Stay tuned.
Previously, Michael Leaverton watched:
Bama Glama, the show all Alabama loves to fight over in comment threads