The FBI Says: Be Suspicious of People Who Pay for Lattes With Cash

Categories: Talking Points
coffee_and_dollars.jpg
Mikhail hoboton Popov / Shutterstock
If this doesn't look suspicious to you, you're not the FBI.
Hotel staff. Salespeople at home electronics stores. Baristas. All of you are now on the front lines of the United States' war on terror, claims the FBI, which just released a series of 25 handouts on spotting potential terrorists, part of its "Communities Against Terror" initiative. Infowars' Paul Joseph Watson examined the handouts, and discovered that much of what the FBI considers "suspicious activity" most of us consider "daily life" (thanks to Boing Boing for the link). Do you pay for your coffee in cash? You're not practicing fiscal responsibility -- no, you could be avoiding a paper trail. And god forbid you should shade your laptop screen from other customers when you're IMing with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

SFoodie examined the handouts ourselves, just to make sure they weren't sponsored by American Express. Good thing Four Barrel and Matching Half started accepting credit cards a few months ago -- otherwise, how would their staff know who to keep a close eye on or not?

Frankly, though, coffee drinkers aren't nearly as suspicious as urban farmers. The feds instruct farming stores to keep a close eye on new customers who act "nervous or impatient" and possess "little knowledge of crops, soil composition, field size, application methods, or fertilizers." So you'd better read up on the soil in your garden before even going to the store. And make sure to pay with your credit card.

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Follow me at @JonKauffman.

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Matching Half Café

1799 McAllister, San Francisco, CA

Category: Restaurant

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Rbh101
Rbh101

Underground economy running amok!!

Guest
Guest

And if you leave a dollar in the tip jar, you're enabling tax evasion.

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