Breaking: McDonald's Claims to Be the New Slow Food

httpwww.flickr.comphotoscelesteh_mcdonald_head-detail.jpg
celesteh
​Slow food lovers, watch your back.

McDonald's, the clown-headed conglomerate that's responsible for tricking the world's children into adult-onset Diabetes, has released a new video touting its farm-to-table ethics. It is so awesome!

Seriously, watch this insane video and then let's discuss.

Holy shit.

Discussion topics:

1. Why is Frank Martinez eating a raw potato!? That shit doesn't taste good, and I'm fairly certain it might be poisonous. Also, poor Frank -- take after take of peeling a potato and chomping into its raw funk. I feel for the man.

2. Aren't we pretty sure that McDonald's fries are made of the same material they use for astronaut suits? I mean, how else do you explain their absolute refusal to decompose? Seriously, start making planes out of this shit and that'll be the end of death via air travel. You know what will survive the apocalypse? Cockroaches, Joan Rivers' faces, and McDonald's french fries.

3. Who the hell does McDonald's think it's talking to? The people lining up at the drive through at 10 p.m. don't care about farms or freshness, and the people who do care aren't going to start liking McDonald's all of a sudden. Sometimes I think every ad person on Earth should be thrown off a cliff and replaced by me. New slogan, "McDonald's. I'm lovin' it! Until I'm dead at 33!" Done and done.

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino. Follow SFoodie on Twitter: @SFoodie, and like us on Facebook.
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Randjk
Randjk

When I was a kid, 9 or 10, my friend's mother would store the potates in the garage. They didn't use it for the car, by-the-way. They used the single car garage as a pantry.  I would have never thought to eat raw potatoes until that moment Jesse invited me to have one. From the paper sack it was unwashed and cool. It was surprisingly clean crisp and a little sweet.  More than that it was an experience of open minded revelation. Thats the snack we sometimes sought. For most people Mc Donald's isn't an ah-ha moment memory. For me a raw potato is a warm reflection. Singly, I must be the only one that understands what Frank knows, even if he did peel the spud.

Tom L.
Tom L.

The use of acoustic guitar is comforting but if Mcdonalds wants any hope of reaching Gen Ys who care about the food they eat what this really needs is some uplifting glockenspiel.

billy
billy

This article and the comment section is why San Francisco is so embarrassing to the non-assholes who live here.  People who are so unbelievably full of themselves and their own dietary esoterica and snobbery they forget that their six figure tech jobs give them absolutely no insight to nutrition or how their body works.  Cheeseburgers are delicious.  Just because poor people don't sit through a ten minute wait to buy a 20 dollar piece of cheese from a dreadlocked disaffected hipster at the Whole Foods in SOMA doesn't mean you have the right to look down your nose at them.  I hope the poor people eat your wheatgrass smelling faces off in your sleep.  French Fries don't cause cancer, you do San Francisco.   

T. A. Butler
T. A. Butler

Billy, your head is so far up your hiney, if you jumped, you would disappear. 

It turns out that non-organic potatoes are one of the worst grown foods you can eat. One farmer told me that, after they spray the fields, farm workers can't go in them for two days. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

http://pmep.cce.cornell.edu/pr...

If that doesn't clear up your misconceptions, why not have some real fun and Google about factory-farm beef. Let me guess. You work for Monsanto or ConAgra or some corporation that pimps crappy food.

guest
guest

i hope you eat mcdonald's every day for the rest of your life, billy. the world could use less of you.

Ryan Morey
Ryan Morey

I think your bias is getting in the way of your thinking.  Cut them some slack..at least they are trying to do right!  Also, there is nothing wrong with eating raw potatoes. The roots are posionous tho.

Amy C.
Amy C.

You mean "trying to make people think they are doing something right." They aren't saying they've changed anything about how they prepare the food or where it comes from. Just trying to make people believe that this huge corporation has personal relationships with farmers.

Marji
Marji

"Trying" and "actually" are two very different things, though.

David Surcamp
David Surcamp

I don't think you're giving McDonald's enough credit Laura, they're probably worse than the pharmaceutical and tobacco industry combined, in terms of real dollar cost for their existence. I'd wager if you had more legal arm-strength than McDonald's, you could litigate the earth's annual GDP about seven to ten times over from McDonald's with the damage done to health, and actual legitimate not made up things in a class action, because by now the destruction they indulge in by now should be illegal.

MrEricSir
MrEricSir

Is the slime that comes out of their "meat patties" even organic?

sendmorecops
sendmorecops

My brother and I used to eat raw potatoes to gross out the neighbor kids.  So yes, it's gross.

H Henri
H Henri

Potatoes aren't poisonous anymore.. that has been bred out of them--as far as I know. However.. when french fries they help make cancer!! YAY Mickey Dees you make cancer possible! 

peacemaker2000
peacemaker2000

Foodies take over McDonalds!  I am so glad I KNOW WHERE MY FOOD COMES FROM now.

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