Do Not Pity the Turkey. Fear the Turkey.
|They will hunt you, too.|
Packs of turkeys, it appears, hunt with the tenacity of wolves, chasing their suburban prey for blocks and lurking around potential victims, looking more like the raptors in Jurassic Park than a cute Butterball. Frankly, they are creepy. Be sure to brine yours for a day or two before roasting...just to make sure it won't rise from the dead and attack you in your sleep.