Best Practices for Making a Hip Coffee Shop Your Office

Categories: Best Practices

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Yelp/ Lucy M.
For those of us who don't work in an office, and aren't rich or fancy enough to afford things like WiFi and coffee makers, there's always the options of setting up shop at nearby coffee shops and cafes. Sometimes a trip to our local cafe is the only thing that'll stop those of us who are bored out of our minds in our prison-like dwellings from burning the entire city to the ground out of boredom. If you're also concerned with being surrounded by attractive people who you want to make out with, well then, you're more likely headed to the Mission's Ritual Coffee Roasters. So grab every cliche of "Hipster" that you can fit on your fixie, and allow us to teach you the Best Practices for Making Ritual Your Office.

1. If it's the weekend, YEAH RIGHT. If you attempt this, you brave little soldier, call me so I can record it and then autotune it and put it on YouTube and make millions upon millions of dollars.

2. Get there when they open at 6 a.m., or be prepared to sit on someone's lap all day. Side note that will most likely take up this whole section: Have you ever noticed how all the hip, fancy places for coffee in S.F. don't open before 6 a.m.? Bitch about Starbucks all you will (and how!), they're caffeinating the most important members of our society: The construction workers who (kind-of) make sure our entire city (mostly) doesn't turn into one large sinkhole, and the MUNI drivers who (kind-of) make sure we (mostly) get to work alive. Without Starbucks, this city would grind to a halt as we waited like zombies for Four Barrel to open at 7 a.m.! And we wonder why the entire east coast thinks we're lazy babies. We're lazy babies!

3. Bring your own surge protector.
Also, your own chair. And your own table. No bigs, you're creative. After all, that's why you're working at a cafe, right? You're just too damn creative for a real office.



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3 comments
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mumblingmynah
mumblingmynah

Haha, I LOVE trying to figure out whose itunes library is whose!

Jack
Jack

I'm turning on ad-block on this blog just on principle. Please don't demean your readership with offensive page breaks.

sinosoul
sinosoul

Thanks for breaking this absolutely inane piece into 4 clicks, SFW. Freakin' click-hungry low-life, you.

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