Calling All Holiday Lushes: Top 5 Pumpkin Beers!

It's pumpkin time in beer town, and I came to party! Naturally, that means consuming only the best of the best of the pumpkin beers, and then sharing my findings with you. Of course, Beer Advocate has a snobby list, but you know what, I don't think Dogfish Head Punkin Ale is the greatest best. Dogfish Head is kinda like the Humphrey Slocombe of beer -- when you throw a bunch of a weird shit in a vat, sometimes it's hella tasty and sometimes it's the funk. Maybe this list isn't all that fancy and highfalutin, but it's for the Rest of Us, the 99% who can't tell cinnamon overtones from cinnamon undertones.

I've also emphasized local availability, because living in the S.F. Bay Area is great! Don't worry though, all of the beers are incredibly delicious, I didn't become a fat alcoholic out of nowhere, okay? Let's do this!

5. TREAT (Imperial Chocolate Pumpkin Porter)
Drink this with a knife and fork! This delectable black and brown blend can easily sit in for dessert, but you should double down with a slice of chocolate pumpkin cheesecake. Something as bold as this chocolatey porter would pair well with umami flavors, or even just your Thanksgiving feast -- this could be the first year nobody tries to kill each other before dessert! You can find it at Berkeley Bowl, and other fancy places.


4. Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale
In the immortal words of Neil Young, "Come a little bit closer, hear what I have to say.
Just like children underage drinkin', we could also drink this Harvest Pumpkin Ale all night." When the man is right, the man is right! The spicy and sweet under tones of this hearty ale aren't super sophisticated, but they're damn tasty. It doesn't knock you over with its pumpkin-ness, it's more of a slow burn with cinnamon and cloves. It's deep orange, malty, and surprisingly carbonated, which makes it incredibly refreshing. You can pick this beer up pretty much anywhere, so that's another great thing about it. All in all, a family favorite!

3. Kennebunkport Pumpkin Ale
This is the people's pumpkin ale, an alcoholic version of the Kirkland Signature Brand Pumpkin Pie. It's not for discerning palates, but you don't have a discerning palate, anyway. Listen, about five people on Earth really can taste the difference between things, and you're not one of them. Even better, it's inexpensive and easily available at Trader Joe's, so the only reason not to love this light, spicy brew is that you're a jerky snob. Don't be a jerky snob, be a cool-ass party animal drinking Kennebunkport's Pumpkin Ale!


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