Morrissey Talking Crazy, Meat Recalls Galore, World's Best Veggieburger, and a Bunny Party!

Categories: Week in Vegan

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• Big Mouth Morrissey strikes again! The washed-up hag genius compared the horrific tragedy in Oslo to the everyday tragedy on factory farms and in slaughterhouses. First, this motherfucker ain't even vegan so DO NOT PIN THIS ONE ON US. And secondly: UGH. This is the kind of thing that omnis like to latch onto to be all, "SEE, VEGANS ARE CRAZY!", when really, not eating dead animals isn't so crazy, ya know?? As punishment: The Smiths are out of my Turntable rotation until next week!

Anne Hathaway is vegan!? I'm not so sure about that, I don't totally trust these random celebrity fawning sites because sometimes they'll be all, "OMG TED HAGGARD IS VEGAN!" and then you'll do some research and it's actually that Ted Haggard said he wanted to eat a vegan. Ya know? That is some lackluster reporting! I'm no better because I'm already spreading the Hathaway rumor but hey, you all know I'm a hack. Anyway, Anne Hathaway's a vegan and she loves Babycakes. Fascinating!

• The USDA announced that Ohio's Tri State Beef is recalling approximately 228,596 pounds of beef because of fear that it's contaminated with E. coli O157:H7. It just makes you think about how much of this shit (literally, it's shit in your meat) gets through. I mean, I hope it makes you think about that. Please tell me it makes you think about that because you should fucking be thinking about that. LIKE ALL THE TIME.

• Remember that horrific footage from E6 Cattle Co. in Texas? You know, with the workers punching calves in the face for fun? Well, the fucker who owns that place got off with a $4,000 fine. I just... I don't get it. Extreme animal cruelty receives nothing but a slap on the wrist and business goes on as usual. Seriously, the only way to stop these monsters is to take money away from them, that is the only thing they care about. As long as you are buying milk and cheese, stuff like this will always happen, and a lot more frequently than you'd like to believe. PLEASE STOP PLEASE. Ugh, now I have to go cry forever and then cry more.

• Oh wait, and here's some brand-new footage of workers at a pig factory farm punching the animals and burning them with cigarettes. More crying and now some cutting happening.

• Want to party with the bunnies on Saturday? Yeah, you do! SaveABunny is having a blowout bash to help raise money for its rescue efforts, and we're all invited, so you best be there! Meave's got all the details on Vegansaurus, which btw, was nominated as #38 in the Vegan 100, so go vote for us or I'll cry and cut EVEN MORE. It's possible.

The Chesapeake Bay is now basically just one big dead zone. That means it's so polluted and disgusting that it's actively killing life left and right. And they say that the Sistine Chapel is man's greatest work?* Michelangelo ain't got nothing on us!

• The LA Times has a piece up about bluefish tuna farms that questions whether this fast-swimming, far-traveling fish can really be raised successfully in captivity. Well, the answer is yeah, it can be, the fish just have supershitty lives. Of course, all the starving idiots in Los Angeles will get their slices of 20-calorie no-carb sashimi and lose all the weight and be very happy and not give a fuck, so there's a silver lining.

• EVEN MORE GREAT NEWS: The Pew Charitable Trust just released a new report on the enormous pollution caused by the poultry industry. So, I think I've successfully covered why not to eat cows, pigs, and now chickens? Like, for the millionteenth time. Can't we all go vegan so we can just talk about celebrities being idiots (and also JUST LIKE US) like normal people?

• Finally, I just ate the best veggieburger of my life, and if you know how to use a stove, you can, too! I don't normally push food on you guys (lie), but make these immediately. Especially for people who are like, "VEGAN FOOD IS SO GROSS AND BORING! WHINE! COMPLAIN!" Here's what you do: Invite them over for dinner all polite-like and let them take one bite of the burger so they know how damn good it is, and then you say, "YOU'RE THE GROSS AND BORING ONE! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" and then rip the remaining burger from their hands, throw it in the garbage (you can dig it out later), and kick 'em to the curb.

*They do! They do say that! Have you seen it? That shit's magical.

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
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4 comments
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guest
guest

Nothing to establish your credibility as a food writer than showing you know how to curse. (What are you, 13? Seriously. Get a thesaurus.)

Davey
Davey

I love Morrissey, always.

quarrygirl
quarrygirl

i love the week in vegan, keep it up! btw, i don't care what morrissey says about anything, i'd still hit it!

A Rose
A Rose

Thanks for your review!  I cry all the time too!

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