San Francisco Defeats McDonald's
When San Francisco banned McDonald's Happy Meals last November, the rest of the country mocked us, and not just the conservative trolls who hate everything we stand for. We got mocked by Jon Stewart, which hits us where we live.
Ex-Mayor Gavin Newsom -- does anyone miss him? Anyone? -- vetoed the ban. But the Board of Supervisors overruled Newsom.
And bully for the Board of Supervisors. Conservative parents can still exercise their right to fatten their children so that we all have to pay for their later health care, but the rest of the nation doesn't need to be undermined by the world's most effective marketing-to-children company. "Mommy, I don't want tacos, I don't want soup -- they don't come with a toy!"
But still, we have been mocked since it happened; it was San Francisco vs. McDonald's and pretty much the rest of the United States.
Guess what? Just like in the World Series, San Francisco won!
McDonald's announced Tuesday that it is changing its Happy Meal, cutting the amount of fried potatoes in half, allowing kids to ask for milk instead of soda, and adding fruit. And not those fried apple pies either, but real slices of real apples!
Undoubtedly they'll be slices from the kind of flavorless, mealy-textured, mass-farmed Red Delicious apples that convince many children they don't like fruit in the first place. But still, this is huge progress. Previous environmental campaigns got McDonald's to stop using styrofoam. This is further proof that principled stands do make a difference.
So we'd just like to say to Jon Stewart and all you conservative trolls as well: We were right about Happy Meals, we're right about gay marriage, we're right about farm-to-table cuisine, and we're right about health care.
As always, San Francisco is the place to look for the direction this country should go. When we have a tea party here, we use real tea, organically farmed and handpicked. As for the "party" -- come on, folks, do you seriously think you're having as much fun as we are? We fight for our right to public nudity; y'all fight for your right to lower taxes and cheap made-in-China plastic toys.
San Francisco 1, McDonald's 0. Sweet! Er, we mean, nutritious!