Vegan Doritos (!!!), Bakesales Galore, and Fish Use Tools!

Categories: Week in Vegan

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Scott Gardner/National Geographic
A blackspot tuskfish prepares to use a rock to get to its dinner.
​• National Geographic has a series of pictures of a fish using tools, because fish are so much smarter than people want to think they are so they can feel fine eating them. Well, they're awesome and smart and feel pain, and if you eat them, you're a real ass. Oh, and you're contributing to the stripmining of the oceans and stuffing yourself with poisons and plastic. Go, you!

• Have you tried Kettle Brand Salsa Picante Tias? Because they're straight-up vegan Doritos! Bring them to your next cookout and blow some minds. Then throw them on the grill and blow some more minds with your craziness. WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT? Nobody knows, but you're the life of the party and/or kinda terrifying!

Refinery 29
Ya see? Vegans in pleather are HOT! We mean, figuratively. Vegan leather breathes, right?
​• Free People released a vegan leather lookbook with lots of sexy looks for rich quasihippie vegans who are cool with the social and moral implications and obligations of pleather. YA DIG? Anyway, check out that hot vegan leather panel dress and imagine me rocking it and dancing sexy for you. If you find this hard to imagine, think about what Bruce Vilanch looks like eating a sandwich, and you're there.

• There are two charity vegan bakesales happening in Oakland this weekend. One on Saturday and one on Sunday, so whatever day you refuse to leave the house on, you're still covered for the day you have to leave to get sunlight so you don't die! Woohoo!

• An Ethiopian food cooking zine. Get up on this! Then holler at me, and let's EAT.

• The Milk Board fake apologizes to you sensitive harpies who were upset by their ultra-offensive campaign. Got Discussion? No, but you clearly still got condescension, you idiotic pricks. The best part about this whole thing is they never even gave women dairy products, they gave them straight calcium carbonate, which is found in greater quantities in many other foods. The whole world is upside down, inside out, and mainly: FUCKED. Next!

Help save Pikas! They exist -- I know, nuts -- and they need our help to save them from other humans! GOD HUMANS ARE THE WORST. So, sign that, and then go get blackout drunk to forget about the sins of our terrible race of men.

• As Meave points out at Vegansaurus, Salon just figured out that agricultural subsidies are f-f-fucked. Way to understand things later than a back issue of Highlights but still, it's true, those subsidies don't line up with what we're supposed to be eating, so we better talk about that shit until the end of time. Or until things change. So, you know, until the end of time. LET'S DRINK.

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
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My Voice Nation Help

I know lots of people don't care, but the Tias use bone-char refined sugar. Tis a bummer.


Vegan Doritos-like chips!  THANK YOU!

Shelly Sears
Shelly Sears

Laura, you are fabulous. There should be more people like you in this world.

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