Undercover Animal Activists are Endangered, Shakira and Other Wolves Are Screwed

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SFoodie's roundup of tips, news, and rants from the week in animal-free eats.

• Let's start this off with something delicious! ME! The very smart, funny, and delightful Jesse Hirsch interviewed me as part of a series profiling SFoodie bloggers. Read it, and learn all of my innermost secrets and fantasies. Hint: They're sexual and about YOU!

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Shakira ― and anyone else who either permanently or temporarily takes wolf form ― is in deep shit.
• Here's something not so delicious: Roughly one in four packages of meat and poultry from across the U.S. contains multidrug-resistant staph. I feel like McDonald's should add that to its value menu items. Ninety-two chicken McNuggets, an XXXXXL order of fries, a bucket of Coke, and one serving of penicillin-resistant staph! America, fuck yeah!

• Beautiful, majestic, and very much endangered wolves are being taken off the endangered list for purely political reasons. Whack attack alert! Megan Rascal put together a list of ways to raise hell for these rad little dudes (and ladies), so do it up. Besides, it's possible they're actually humans who are just going through a temporary change and so killing them would be wrong. I saw Teen Wolf, I know what's up! Darlings, it's no joke, it's lycanthropy. (That's not me, it's Shakira!)

• In the continuing story of Big Ag and Your Government are Combing Forces to Kill You news, did you know that 63 percent of agriculture subsidies go to meat and dairy, and less than 1 percent goes to fruits and vegetables? No, for real. It's days like these when I wish I'd been born into simpler times. Sure, I wouldn't be able to vote and probably would've already died from some sexy disease like consumption, but at least I'd. ... Oh, fuck it. No matter which way you slice it, it always sucks to be a woman. Next!

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The Humane Society's Wayne Pacelle: Somebody give this man a fauxhawk!
• The head of the Humane Society of the United States, Wayne Pacelle, is in town signing books and talking to people. He was a guest on KQED's Forum this week. You can learn all about where to meet him (and possibly hook him up with some new hairstyling products?) and where to listen to the archived interview on Vegansaurus!

Quarrygirl rocked the vegan world with the scandal that VegNews magazine is using nonvegan iStockphoto images to illustrate vegan recipes. Vegans are falling on all sides of the issue (and everywhere in the middle), some sympathizing with the high cost of putting out a quality mag and some feeling duped and pissed. And that's my reporting on that one! Okay, okay ... I will say that I'm part of the VegNews family and consider many on staff to be close friends, truly excellent human beings, and some of the most committed vegans you'll ever meet. I also get why people are upset, completely sympathize, and feel awful about it. I have hope that we can all work together on this so that a phoenix may rise from the ashes, and maybe even a whole slew of vegan photogs get some work!? When life throws you lemons, I usually make a shit sandwich, but today: Fuck it, I'm making organic, free-range lemonade!

• Excellent piece in the New York Times about several states trying to ban undercover animal investigations. It's smart, thoughtful, and right on. Go head, TImes, I ain't mad atcha for charging me. Actually, I am. Actually, I think it's the right thing to do. AHH I DON'T KNOW, how do I feel about this?! Someone tell me, I need more opinions!

• Did you know U.S. VegWeek is coming up? Neither did I! But let's have a party or something? Your house? My place is a fucking mess. You bring the food and drinks, I'll bring the fat ass to shake, and we'll freak til the morning comes. (Read: I'll sneak out the back door without saying goodbye about 10 minutes into the party. I've got to get back to watching old episodes of Fry and Laurie!)

• Down from the news? Make this lemon, garlic, fava bean, and mushroom dish and feel instantly better! Or at least fatter! Which just makes you a better person. Live a little!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus and tweets at @mrpenguino. Follow SFoodie at @SFoodie, and like us on Facebook.

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Abby Bean
Abby Bean

Laura, you are hilarious as always. VN should have asked you to help pen the explanation. Major props for not shying away from the issue!

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