This Is Why Your Bartender Hates You
Amazingly, those things never came up (nor, thankfully, did any stories specifically about me). The top complaint had to do with how patrons order, as seen in this viral video making the rounds in the bar community. Contrary to popular belief, bartenders don't really care WHAT you order (they know you love vodka and soda, and they're okay with it, even if it is the tofu of the cocktail world). It's all the other crap you do that drives mixologists to drink.
You get uppity when a bar doesn't stock the brand you ask for.
A quality establishment typically devotes its back bar space to smaller, artisanal brands of spirits, and might not carry the megabrands that take out glossy ads in Details. A good bartender is happy to tell you what he does carry. Relax and enjoy the many great spirits out there you've never heard of.
Waving money, snapping your fingers, or shouting, "Hey, hey, hey!" at a crowded bar won't get you a drink any faster ― it only pegs you as annoying and aggressive. Leave your paranoia at work: No bartender is singling you out to be ignored.
You order a drink while you're on the phone.
Extra scorn points for wearing a Bluetooth earpiece ― no one knows who you're talking to.
You order a drink, then wander off.
Stay put and be ready to pay.
You ask a bartender what's good, or what her favorite drink is.
If you can't decide what to drink, tell the bartender what spirits you like. A good one will make suggestions, and probably introduce you to your next favorite drink. Remember, you're the one doing the drinking, not your bartender.
You don't know what the hell you're ordering.
If you order "cranberry and vodka" you'll receive two drinks: a glass of cranberry juice and one of vodka. If you order "vodka and cranberry," you'll get one glass containing both.
You help yourself from a bottle you didn't buy.
Believe it or not, this happens. You will get thrown out.
You order your drink "strong."
If you want less mixer, say so, but unless you're ordering a double, you're implying that your bartender makes weak drinks. If that is what you mean to imply, order a beer instead, or go to a different bar.
You make out with somebody.
Dude: Get a room. No one wants to see that.
You whip out drugs at the bar.
Just because it's okay to get shit-faced at an establishment doesn't mean it's okay to get high there. Openly.