Worse Than Sarah Palin, 7-Eleven Sees the Light, and Cuddling Chickens

Categories: Vegan

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SFoodie's roundup of tips, news, and rants from the week in animal-free eats.

• Paul McCartney's one-legged ex whom everyone hates, Heather Mills, is turning out to be a kinda coo-coo-for-Cocoa-Puffs activist. In a good way. I think. Anyway, she owns a chain of vegan restaurants in England that she claims will be bigger than McDonald's in 10 years.

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TLC
Awww ― and ewww!
​I totally believe veganism is future eating and people need to embrace it because it's the shiz but I wonder if making claims like this when you have one partially open restaurant under your belt helps the cause? I hope this Crazytown proves me wrong!

• Okay, so Sarah Palin killed a caribou on her TLC show. First, how effed was every aspect of that last sentence? I mean, the psycho has a show on THE LEARNING CHANNEL that showcases her giddily killing something. The world, it is screwed. Anyway, then she came out saying that unless you're a super vegan, you should find no fault in what she does. And THEN, West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin issued a scathing rebuttal. It's a pretty satisfying takedown of Palin, who is a lunatic whackjob from planet Manipulative in the Stupid galaxy, but it's also true that dude, factory farming is just as gross, if not grosser, than hunting. The difference is, most people don't want to think about how the animals they eat die, whereas Palin grotesquely relishes it. Here's another way to look at it: Meat eaters are more like Palin than vegans. Ow! I'll take a point for Team Sanity, please and thank you. Every time someone tells me that Hitler was a vegetarian, after I say, "Actually, he wasn't," and then, "What does that even matter?" I'll add, "Well, Palin, Cheney, and Dubya are all omnivores!" IN YOUR FACE. Sorta.

• The Jenny and Heather Goldberg, otherwise known as the adorable Spork Sisters, are taking their show on the road. The duo founded a cooking school in Los Angeles last year, and it's gotten so popular they've launched online cooking classes so we can all enjoy their awesome deliciousness. Let us not forget, these are the ladies who brought us the bacon-stuffed tater tot. Bow down!

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catbagan/Flickr
Get ready, lovers of the Big Gulp.
​• So 7-Eleven is offering vegan food selections in several test markets. Nuts, right? And the food sounds pretty awesome: artichoke spinach noodles, vegetable lo mein, and two types of dumplings. Imma wash that all down with a Big Gulp and call it a day. The test items are selling really well (perhaps partially because, uh, what's the alternative, rotating steamer trays of ancient hot dogs?) so we can expect to see this expand beyond N.Y.C. Has anyone tried the stuff yet?? I'm thinking of starting a fundraising campaign to get me there. Holler at me if you can contribute, I'll pay you back in WE'LL DISCUSS THE DETAILS LATER, PERV.

The New York Times' Freakonomics blog has a chart up that looks at U.S. meat-eating trends over the past century. The takeaway is that the more Americans become "health" conscious (i.e., switching from beef to chicken), the more chickens die. I think people are also more okay with chicken consumption because they don't understand how rad birds are. Birds are so smart and cool, and chickens are the greatest. Seriously, you haven't lived until you've seen a chicken take a dirt bath and play silly games with other chickens and cuddle you. Yes, chickens will CUDDLE YOU, and their feathers are so soft. Ugh, now I have to go look at pictures of cute chickens until my rage subsides.

• Speaking of chickens, did you know they sell live ones (from factory farms, no less! classy!) at S.F. farmers' markets? UGH. However, there is a mounting campaign from LGBT Compassion to end the practice. An important protest takes place this Sunday, Dec.12, at 10 a.m. to publicize the extreme animal cruelty and public health risks at Heart of the City. LGBT Compassion will provide signs and brochures ― and don't worry, the forecast is for a sunny day. It's only an hour or two, a really effective form of getting your voice heard, and while you're at it, you can grab vegan pastries from the vegan pastry guy. Do it to it!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus and tweets at @mrpenguino. Follow SFoodie at @sfoodie.
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