Fall Is In the Air, and Count Chocula Is On the Shelves

​For some, fall doesn't officially begin until the Napa vineyards turn a majestic gold, the scent of pumpkin pie wafts from grandma's kitchen, and century-old Midwestern cider mills crank into gear. Screw all of that. Fall starts when Count Chocula says so.

The holy trinity of General Mills cereals, Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry (R.I.P. Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy), are on store shelves now, destined to be gone by the time Halloween candy goes on deep discount. Those who are fortunate enough to live in Ohio (and we never thought we'd utter those words) can buy monster cereals year round, proof that the General Mills gods are cruel. The rest of us are stuck treating pink Herman Munster-shaped marshmallows with a hushed reverence normally reserved for Italian white truffles and ortolans.

​Our favorite of the triumvirate is Boo Berry. Why? Because it renders milk a fairy-tale sky blue we only imagined possible the last time we got high. Also, we love how Boo Berry tastes absolutely nothing like real blueberries. After all, two of the first four ingredients listed are sugar and marshmallows. No worries, though. No one will see us in a bathing suit for at least another eight months.

Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry cereals are available at Bay Area Target stores for $2.50 a box.