This Is Why Your Whole Foods Cashier Hates You

Whole-Foods-cashier.jpg
JOE MARINARO/Flickr
In the religion of buying organic and local, Whole Foods is like the big, showy megachurch. There's two-hundred plus of John Mackey's paeans to healthful eating in the U.S. and in each store there's a throng of cashiers bleating the Whole Foods motto: "Would you like five cents back for bringing your own bag or would you like to make a donation to charity?" The prohibitive price of the groceries (Whole Paycheck, anyone?) coupled with the granola (and we're not talking merchandise here) the company emanates attracts a certain kind of customer. If you're one of those customers, know that even though your actions may come from a benevolent place, you might be driving your cashier nuts. Here are some helpful tips (culled from a former store employee!) to help preserve their sanity.

Don't joke about your ID being fake.
You're handing over the limited-edition six-pack of microbrew or a bottle of biodynamic wine and you crack wise about the validity of your ID. Understand that this happens one to two dozen times a day and by the 15th time, it is as fresh as any sitcom tagline. They see the smirk on your face, and it's almost like they can hear Joey Lawrence exclaiming, "Whoa!"

whole-foods-love.jpg
That Other Paper/Flickr
They don't run the store.
This may surprise you, but your cashier probably does not run the store. Don't complain and/or chastise them because the herbal eyedrops have been moved and you can't find them or the bulk lentil bin is empty. Again. It's not their fault, and they don't care that things are done differently at [insert name of your locally owned organic grocery store that you aren't frequenting anyway].

Don't talk on your cell phone.
Actually, go ahead an talk on your cell phone. Making small talk is part of the job, and if you're on the phone they get to forgo the ritual. Just be prepared to answer all the pertinent questions, like, "How are you going to pay for these biodegradable picnic utensils?"

Don't assume they buy the Whole Foods hype.
Just because someone works at Whole Foods doesn't mean they buy into your piecemeal spirituality. Don't tell them Mercury is in retrograde or lecture them about the latest international cause you've taken up. They've been standing in place for seven hours, trying to pretend they love every minute of it for fear of losing their job. You're paying too much for your food, and they're not getting paid enough to pretend they care.

Put your kids on a leash.
Okay, you don't have to put them on a leash. It's demeaning, we know. But learn the line between raising kids to be "free" and respecting others. Maybe they let Dakota express herself like that at Montessori school, but keeping her from scattering peanut butter pretzels everywhere won't stunt her emotional development.


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8 comments
samanthadeltoro88
samanthadeltoro88

I was a cashier at Sprouts. These things are true, and one thing they left out was how pretentious people can be about paper bags. If you ask them, "Paper or plastic?" They act like it's the most important thing in the world and you should have known better than to ask.

Alice Wonderworld
Alice Wonderworld

Continueing with this Off Topic disccussion from being a reg worker -- I shall add -- Whole Foods Market's own brand of organics, as well as speciality foods (for dietary restrictions), can be very fairly priced. I've also been known to go there to find and/or try items that I cannot find elsewhere (ex: Vegan power bars), but certainly to each their own. I shop regularly, though not frequently, and have made wonderful discoveries there too!

tweldon21
tweldon21

I work at a Whole Foods in Columbus Circle in NYC.  Its A LOT different than "that" WF's you talk about in terms of the people that shop there, but some great stuff there!  I work in delivery, but have to do the register now and again.  Here is my take on the life of a cashier there: 

http://www.walkinglion.org/2013/01/much-respect-due.html

Gilles Poitras
Gilles Poitras

The few times I went into a Whole Foods with a friend who was shopping there I checked what I get at my usual market. The exact same brands were about 40% more at Whole Foods. Never walked into one again.

Blaze Farrar
Blaze Farrar

I just wish they'd mask their resentment a tiny bit.

Alice Wonderworld
Alice Wonderworld

I hearby swear that I've never been THIS customer, but I think these tips should be shared with ALL CASHIERS!

jjlasne
jjlasne

There should definitely be a leash law for children.

 

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