S.F. Rising: Adopt a Bread Alligator from Panaderia La Mexicana

Jonathan Kauffman

Rrawr.

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S.F. Rising is a weekly survey of bread in San Francisco ― the baked and the fried, the artisan and the novelty.

Alligator
Source: Panaderia La Mexicana, 2804 24th St. (at Bryant), 648-2633.
Price: $5
Toast-appropriateness: Don't you dare. Panaderia La Mexicana has been making these pineapple-scented alligators (weekends only) for almost 40 years. The doughy reptiles even won a Bay Guardian Best of San Francisco award in 1974. Sure, the pastry now costs $5. But it has teeth, scales, and tiny, perfectly formed claws.

The pan dulce doesn't taste like much, either, but chances are good you'll never figure that out. You'll buy one to give to your boyfriend, who will name it something like Toofus or Carol Channing. He'll keep the alligator on his windowsill until the day the cat jumps up onto the ledge and gnaws Carol's upper mandible off, or until he moves out of his apartment and realizes he doesn't want to pick the dust-covered thing up with his bare hands. Don't worry -- La Mexicana will likely be making these alligators in 2020, and you can buy him another one as a housewarming present.