Another 24 Hours: Craigslist Farm and Garden Classifieds

goat.jpg
TheBigWRanch12/Flickr
Tasty as she looks, don't you dare think about eating her.
SFoodie's look at some urban essentials offered up on Craiglist this week.

• This de-horned 1-year-old Nigerian Dwarf doe up in Santa Rosa sounds like a goat to be reckoned with. The owner writes: "she is skittish and hard to catch but when caught she is fine she will become more people friendly with time." If goat-whispering is a serious hobby of yours -- and it sounds like this little bleater will need to hear quite a few tender nothings before warming up, especially to a new owner -- make an offer. Note the owner's last line: "she is for pet bredding [sic] or milk NOT for food."

• A swineherd in Sebastopol has pigs for sale, well-loved ones currently sloshing around a quarter-acre open-pasture pen. Reserve your share now with a $140 deposit and fork over another cool $130 right before slaughter. In March 2010, you'll receive 75 to 90 pounds of ready-to-inhale pork, cut and wrapped to your gluttonous specifications. Butchering and smoking cost a few extra cents per pound. Holler at Beverly.

• A lovesick college roommate used to lie on the floor of his dorm room listening to Sense Field on giant headphones. We, on the other hand, have always preferred the sonorous grunts of an emu to emo, that melodic, confessional sob-genre of hardcore first truly popular in the early '90s. Thankfully, a farmer in Watsonville is currently selling emu for $150 apiece. However, before you tear down 101, cash in hand, keep one thing in mind: an emu may be noble in visage, flightless, and hilarious to behold, but, look at her crossly, and, just like that beefy, bald dude with bright-red straight-edge tats huffing around the pits you avoided in high school, she will kick you in the face.

• Like great piece of fish, an ad often needs only to be served: "HI I SALE STRAWBERRIES 13 THE WHOLE BOX IF YOU BUY MORE THAN 10 BOXES 12 PER BOX YOU PICK UP HERE MY HOUSE I ONLY TAKE ORDERS BIG ORDERS I DONT DELIVER IF DO I CHARGE DELIVERY ONLY HERE IN SAN JOSE....... STRAWBERRIES CUT DAILY AS SOON THEY HAVE THEM READY I PICK UP AND SALE THEIR "NOT" REFRIGIATED OR NOTHING LIKE THAT FRESH CUT AND SALE THAT SAME DAY!!!!!!!! ALSO CHERRY TOMATO SAME PRICE GOOD QUALITY.............."


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