Hey Trader Joe's, Thanks for Ruining Almonds

Categories: Simmons, WTF?

Aimee Shapiro
Playa munchy? The almond bin at TJ's in San Francisco.
​Almonds are a superb source of plant-derived protein. They also contain loads of fiber, phytonutrients, and antioxidants like Vitamin E and selenium. Their fat is fine, the healthy monounsaturated and polyunsaturated kinds proven to lower LDL cholesterol.

Clearly, nuts are good for you. Unfortunately, according to Trader Joe's, they're also good for Burning Man. Just take this scruffy little bug-eyed cartoon character's word for it.

We don't care how much we like frozen pierogis: In light of this mortifying marketing train-wreck, the boycott is on -- until they ditch those wretched signs and bring back the wonton chips.

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