Free Food at Denny's, Kind Of

But this time you will actually have to pay for the privilege. On Wednesday, April 8, from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., Denny's will give you a free Grand Slamwich -- as long as you buy a Grand Slam breakfast, the subject of its last well-at-least-actually-you-got-it-for-FREE giveaway.

Denny's slogan: "Get a Free Grand Slamwich When You Buy a Grand Slam. Don't just bring your appetite, bring someone special." (And, we add, some $.)

The Grand Slamwich consists of eggs and breakfast meats served between two pieces of toast. And potatoes, served on the side (not in the sandwich, as done at Pittsburgh's Primanti Bros. and the Pittsburgh-inspired SF eaterie Giordano Bros., just so you know it's possible). Pancakes optional, as in: they'll cost you more money. Denny's own mouthwatering description: two scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, shaved ham, mayonnaise and American cheese grilled on potato bread with a maple spice spread (meant to evoke the missing pancakes), served with hash browns, suggested retail price: $5.99.

Mayonnaise AND maple spice spread! America is a great country indeed.

The usual retail price of the Grand Slam is $6.99, so it seems to us that you'd be losing not only time but money on this one. (Making the news last time: people who wait in long lines for free food neither know nor care that tipping your server is still part of the deal.)

We'll see if America eats this one up. After all, there's one born every minute, or so we've heard.