Super Bowl Hot Wings Crisis -- in the Media


I'm the kind of a girl that, if she watched the Super Bowl, would watch it for the commercials.

And the snacking. 

Although calling it "snacking" when some sources, including the United States Department of Agriculture, consider it the second highest day of food consumption after Thanksgiving (others slot it in third, after Thanksgiving and Christmas), seems a misnomer. Super Bowl binging, maybe, on what certain food writers love to call "munchies", heavy on the sports-related finger food that sounds like the menu at Hooters: ribs, hot dogs, burgers, nachos, buffalo chicken wings, and, of course, vats and vats of guacamole.

A few years ago the media seized upon a possible shortage of avocados to whip up the populace into a frenzy (this year they're saying there's plenty right now, but expect fewer in the spring).

Dr. Stephen Colbert is having fun with a supposed chicken wing shortage -- he's calling it Countdown to Atomic Disaster -- The Wing-Ageddon -- asking "What are we going to replace buffalo wings with? Don't say jalapeno poppers!"

He even interviewed Richard Lobb, the director of communications for the National Chicken Council, who pointed out that it's an issue of supply and demand (  every chicken has only two wings). Colbert asks, logically, "Why not produce chickens that have more than two wings?...Why not a five-winged chicken?" "We don't want to get into genetic engineering," Lobb replies with a straight face. (Chickens, of course, are prime examples and candidates for genetic engineering. Conspiracy theorists will not be surprised that McDonalds a featured advertiser on the National Chicken Council's cooking website.)

On the happy tip, Lobb tells us that the United States is the largest producer of chickens in the world -- "the Saudi Arabia of chicken," as it were. "Why not form a O-Peck-Peck?," says Colbert.

Colbert asks for the companies to release the strategic chicken wings reserve. What would happen if all the Joe Chicken Wings didn't have access to them on Sunday?

"They'd probably have nachos instead," says Lobb. 

I'm betting he knows that there are nachos recipes out there that include chicken



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