Drink of the Week: Trash Can Forty
I was leaving my house one day when a familiar glint caught my eye. It reminded me of college and regrets. I pushed open my trashcan, and there it sat, the Trash Can Forty. Unopened, pristine, the "$2 out the door" sticker not even picked at. It was nestled right on top and it hadn't been there when I had come home the previous evening, which means it was deposited there sometime late at night.
What would cause a person to come into possession of a forty of High Life and then callously abandon it in a waste receptacle as opposed to the preferred spot for things up for grabs, the corner? Here are the scenarios I feel are most likely, after the jump.
1. Chronic drunk gives up drinking, tosses symbolic forty in closest trashcan.
2. Man under the spell of an ancient curse turns into a dog and through a series of misadventures commandeers a car which he drives past a chronically drunk old-timey hobo who takes one look at the drink he is about to open, shakes his head, and tosses it in the closest trashcan.
3. Thirty-something fading hipster purchases his ironic drink of choice, is sauntering down the street when it dawns on him that he makes a decent living as an independent Web site designer and can afford to drink stuff that doesn't taste like it's already been ingested once, and tosses it in the nearest trash can.
4. The Forty Fairy visited me! Long live the Forty Fairy! (Easter Bunny, are you taking notes?)
5. I've been marked for death by frat boys.
-Andy Wright
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